Is this love? Thoughts on 1 Cor 13:4-7

Someone preached about love using 1 Cor 13:4-7 and it sounded really nice and encouraging. While I know the preacher preached with all good intention to get people to love each other, I can't help but wonder, "Is that all to it about Love in the Bible?"

Love when explained using 1 Cor 13:4-7 always seem to dictate that it must evoke nice feelings and positivism. It is kind, it is patient, it is not rude etc.  What if I describe love is tough, love is disciplining, love is speaking the painful truth, love is exposing sin? Will I be called a heretic or a hater?

I really wonder if 1 Cor 13:4-7 is one of the most narrow and misapplied meaning of love in the Bible. It seems to me many well-intentioned preachers seem to preach it without any regard for the context of 1 Corinthians. If love is as described by 1 Cor 13:4-7 alone, I wonder what do we make out of Hebrews 12:5-6 when God said that He disciplines those He loves and punishes everyone He accepts as a son.

Love is patient - is God impatient so that he disciplines? Love is kind - is God unkind to punish? Love is not easily angered - is God too quick to be angry and punishes? Love keeps no record of wrongs - so why did God remember the wrongs and discipline the person? What I am trying to say is we must not preach a love that is always nice and lovey dovey simply by quoting 1 Cor 13:4-7, and telling everyone that we must show the kind of love like in 1 Cor 13:4-7 and make everyone feel good otherwise you're a bad Christian who is unloving.

Rather, we must take into account the other side of love as well. A love that is tough love. A love that dares to risk one's own life (reputation, relationships, possessions, misunderstood, physical life) for the sake of the other person; i.e. Love is self-sacrificial. A love that dares to right the wrong to protect and help others at the expense of being persecuted or misunderstood; i.e. Love is upholding justice courageously. A love that dares to discipline for the good of the person and body even if it may be painful; i.e. Love is discipline in truth.

I will not be quoting Bible verses for the above. I believe there are "proof-text" verses if you're looking for tough love "definitions". But I'll rather you see the life of Jesus and the apostles to see how their love include this tough aspect of it too.

So fellow sojourners who quotes and preaches 1 Cor 13:4-7 to share about love, please do not forget the other side of it. Otherwise, what you're really preaching is not the true love found in the Word; a wholistic love that is both lovey dovey AND tough. So if you're still wondering why your church is struggling to love, I would say most likely it is because they have skewed to either extremes and not abiding in the love that is found in Christ Jesus - a lovey dovey, full of grace, tough and full of truth love. God bless you.

Learning to die

What happens if suddenly one day, you can't speak anymore? Or you can't walk or do the things you normally could do?

1. Will you become angry?

2. Will you become a lump of self-pity?

3. Or will you thank God for what you could do in the past, and looked forward to what you can still do now and make a difference?

I supposed options 1 & 2 are the most natural options. "The world is not fair! Why me? Look at me now", we cried. That's because we were not born that way, and we have not been around those with disabilities. We took for granted what we once had, and we've never considered it a privilege. It's normal to us, but for millions around the world, our 'normal' is a gift.

Will option 3 be viable if the day should come that you no longer can do the things you once could? Well, that my friends, is learning to die, and learning to give thanks.

Dying to the "I can. I want. It's mine"; and giving thanks to the "I once had, I still can. It's Yours." Shalom.

Frustration = learning + moulding

There is always something to learn and an area of character to be moulded when you are in trying situations that frustrates you.

‎"All of us have been irritated by occurrences that seem to be demonically designed to disturb our peace of mind and upset our program of life. But we must remember that God is sovereign; nothing happens in our lives without his consent. Therefore we should look carefully at annoyances to see if we can discern God's hand at work." - Dennis Kinlaw

Excuse me, are you a pastor?

What is the 1st thing that comes to your mind when someone mention the word, "Pastor"? I supposed most Christians and non-Christians will tell me something along the lines of "a full time church staff", "a leader/head of the church", "a priest". Probably someone held in high regard. Holding a pastor in high regard is quite understandable, for we expect this person to be of a certain mold(the Jesus mold) - full of love, kindness, humility etc. (note: many people do not seem to understand that pastors are also fallen human beings like they are. but I won't be talking about this in this post)

The title "Pastor" could be so overloaded or linked with power, authority and prestige that many have missed the point of who a pastor is. So many have focus on the title that they forget it is a role more than a title. I should say that probably a lot of Christians and non-Christians will be in a shock if they realised that the English word "Pastor" appear only once in popular versions such as the NIV or NASB Bible.

The Greek word "Poimen" was translated once as "pastor" in the NIV(or NASB) and 10 over times as "shepherd" (e.g. when Jesus said, "I am the good shepherd(poimen)"). This will gives us some clue as to the role of a pastor. Titus 1:5-7; Acts 20:17, 28; Eph 4:11; 1 Peter 5:1-2 gives us more clues on how the words "Pastor", "Elder" and "Overseer(Bishop)" are used interchangeably.

In a nutshell, a pastor (or elder or preacher or bishop or overseer or reverend or whatever terms your denomination/church may use) is someone who takes care of the flock God has entrusted to him. He is to govern, lead, oversee, shepherd and care for them (1 Tim 5:17, 3:4-5; Acts 20:28; 1 Peter 5:2). And he is to teach, preach, refute false teachings, exhort and admonish them. (1 Tim 3:2, 5:17, 4:13; Titus 1:9). If you are doing these, you are a pastor (whether you are conferred this title or not).

"Conferred" may sound a little harsh or negative but in many circles(especially independent churches - the largest group in Singapore), it is seen as such. It has become a title that some sought after and the title has been put on a pedestal so high that you would think a pastor/elder/reverend is equivalent to God. I am not saying ordination is unimportant. It definitely has its place. But when the title has become greater than the role, we are in trouble.

An online website advertised this, "become ordained online. This includes the freedom to perform weddings,perform baptisms or perform funerals for friends and family." If online is not the best option, some resorted to having pastor friends ordaining them. "What are you ordaining him as?"asked Z. "Oh, as a pastor."replied pastor A. "Isn't he already a pastor?" asked Z. Pastor A smiled. The person to be ordained had planted a church and been running it for 3 years in country ABC. No locals has complained, or refused to be baptised by him nor were there any issues with local authorities. (in fact, the locals addressed him as a pastor) So why get ordained? (or rather, get conferred?) {this is a true story & it's not the only one of this kind}

It'll take a lot of education, and it'll take a lot of time to get people to see the pastor as more of a role than a title. There is nothing wrong with titles and ordination, but understanding and recognizing the role of a pastor is much more important because we(in Singapore) are very much tilted toward the title part and that is unhealthy. If you don't believe me, next time when someone(outside) approach you (to preach, to conduct wedding, funeral, to counsel, teach etc), tell them you preach, teach, counsel in your church but you are not a/the pastor. Share your experience with me. :) God bless.

Admit it, not cover it

"Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.’ Isaiah 6:9

 This verse(including v10) was quoted in the NT to depict the blindness of the Jews with regards to recognizing the Messiah. It is tragic how the Jews could not understand and perceive Jesus as the Messiah even with His miracles, teachings and exemplary lifestyle. Why were they blind? Was pride the reason?

Although the context is not really talking about leadership, I would like to point out one thing about leadership that is in line with its principle. Q: If you are a leader of your church today, do you find yourself in the same category of what Isaiah had said? Have you spent time praying, listening and discerning what God is saying and showing to you for the church? Have you touch the ground enough to understand the needs of your flock and realized what is wrong(or could be better)? Or are you just "hearing but not understanding; seeing but not perceiving?"

One of the greatest tell-tale signs of such a leader is when the leader do not apologize for errors made. The Jews refused to admit that Jesus is the Messiah even when the signs are clear. Are you a leader who refuse to admit your error even when you are clearly at fault? Hiding, shoving and pushing faults aside will only make you more and more like the Jews who hardened their hearts and could not understand nor perceive. If as a leader, you do not take your faults into account, sooner or later, you will be heading for disaster.

Admit readily your fault and make things right. Do things properly with integrity and impartiality. If you do not do so, very soon disaster will come, and the tragedy will be: you do not even understand or perceive the coming disaster until it is too late.

Proverbs & our daily experiences

Proverbs is one of my favourite books. If there's anything about wisdom, how to live wisely according to God's way, the book of Proverbs will enlighten (and more often than not, remind) you.

So what do you do when you are angry? Read Proverbs.
What do you do when you know you're proud? Read Proverbs.
What do you do when you talk too much? Read Proverbs.
What do you do when you need to discipline? Read Proverbs.
What do you do when you're lost? Read Proverbs.

This short list is only a part of what Proverbs will teach and remind you. And I think like most human beings, we'll face just about the same dilemmas and experiences in this short list.

Have you not been angry? Have you not think you're better than others? Have you not grumbled, complained and gossiped? Have you not find it hard to discipline because you'll not be popular? And have you not feel lost and directionless at times?

So my dear friends, read Proverbs and gain wisdom from above.

Have Faith in Him

I don't know what tomorrow holds but i know who holds tomorrow.

"He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?" - Paul (Romans 8:32)

"Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" - Jesus (Mark 4:40)

Trust Jesus as He gently ask you the words in Mark 4:40. Trust Him.