Christmas Reflection

I sang this song over and over again. It's simple yet so rich, and it really reminded me of Christ and what He has done for me. Thank you Jesus. I will tell the world about your love. You are so wonderful my Lord.

我主我神
是我主， 是我神 (xi3 ngo1 jü2 , xi3 ngo1 saeng1)
愿牺牲， 拯救我 (yun3 hei2 saeng1, qeing1 gau1 ngo1)
耶稣， 神爱子 (ye3 sou1, saeng1 oi1 ji2)
施恩的主， 真感激祢 (xi1 yaeng4 dik4 jü2, zaeng4 gaem2 gek4 lei1)

神的爱， 极伟大 (saeng1 dik4 oi1, qeing1 wei2 dai1)
赐自由， 更新我心 (qi4 ji1 yau4, gaeng4 saeng4 ngo2 saem1)
为我主， 为我神 (wei3 ngo1 jü2, wei3 ngo1 saeng1)
传福音一生不改变 (qün3 fuk4 yaem4 yaek4 saeng1 baet4 goi2 bin1)

(Note: it is difficult to add hanyu pinyin to a cantonese song because there are no equivalent tones and sounds for certain words)

The Truth

My friend wrote me a card. In it contains words of wisdom and truth.

It says:
"Don't be a great missionary. Be a great believer" and
"Don't champion causes. Champion Jesus who meets us all in a million ways"

To God be the glory.

Gritting the Teeth and Saying NO

Ever felt you wanted to do something but you know you must resist it (even if logically speaking, there's nothing really wrong with it)? It's a fight between what is beneficial and what is not. Our minds can try its best to justify that it is alright because it is not a sin and therefore there is no harm but you know better.

Giving in to something which you must resist will only weaken one's resolve and willpower. An example will be a person who is fasting but give in to his hunger halfway through and ate something to satisfy his need. The act is not wrong and certainly not sinful but it's certainly not beneficial.

So the war goes on. Your battle is unique to how you are made and your experiences in life so quit comparing it with other people. A major battle in your life could be to someone an insignificant fight, let a alone a battle. So walk in it and fight on. God is moulding you for a purpose and preparing you for what is ahead. Onward Christian soldier! Persevere! Charge!!!!!

"But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." - 2 Cor 12:9

His grace IS enough. Run to Him. Fall into His arms again and again.

A Prayer ~ "主啊，带领我。 引导我。保护我。"

Listen Softly - 轻轻听

细细听，轻轻细细听
倾听你说话儿共对应
细细说，轻轻细细哾
因知道我牧人在细听

上帝你是我独一生命光
羊属你必清楚听你声
牧养引导我， 轻声教导我
一生听你话儿共对应

A Deeper Moulding, A Deeper Love

Isn't it 'scary' when you know what you are going through is another test from the Lord? Often times, you know it because it is an area of weakness in your life and God is putting you through certain situations to help you grow stronger in it. Trials always taste badly at first - it's a struggle, it's a moulding, it's a shaping, it's a stripping of what is necessary to be cast off. It is painful, it can be mind-boggling and sometimes, you don't even understand why.

But the big picture has already been painted. The Master artist has already painted it and it is a masterpiece. But of course, in the course of the trial, we are unable to see the full picture and the time spent in the trial can be agonizingly slow. Yet there is hope in God, and our hope is in Him. You just know it is good for you even though the struggle can be beyond description.

Sometimes you wish you can just throw the situation away and be free. But you know that you will never be free until you have dealt with what is necessary. Then there is true freedom. Then there is true peace. Then there is real growth.

So yes Lord. I'll go through it again. It seems so deja vu and really scary. But I know you have painted the masterpiece already. I know it is good. I readily surrender to you and I want to trust you more. It is time to grow deeper in love with you - that when I delight in you, I know I have all I need; I know where I ought to be. Lead me on in this journey Lord. May Your will be done.

The God of all Comfort

It was a good time of sharing. To be able to hear from fellow brothers and share without reservations is really a blessing and a privilege. For that is why God has placed His followers in a community where we support each other and are encouraged in our journey together.

God never fail to amaze me with the learning process He brought me through. About a year ago, I tried to help a friend who is very discouraged and 'depressed' but I was not able to understand what she is going through. All I could offer was good scriptural advice and prayers. That is good, but it is different when I myself had gone through a similar situation. So not long from that, I tasted what those trying situations and emotional storm meant. And indeed, my experiences had helped me to understand many others who are going through similar storms, and it had helped me to empathize with them.

God always prepare us(or at least me) in this way. He'll put me through situations for my own benefit and growth, even if for that moment, it can be very painful. After surviving those storms with His grace, peace and strength abounds. And without fail, there will be wounded brothers and sisters 'appearing' before me with storms similar to mine, and God will use me to encourage, empathize and walk through with them their own unique journey.

It is such a blessing to be able to bless, encourage and walk through storms with fellow brothers and sisters. Although sometimes I can get frustrated with their response and progress, God always remind me that once upon a time, I was like them too. And remembering this always brought about a "I'm sorry Lord", humility, and starve off the critical spirit.

Thank you God once again for this privilege to bless and minister. You are indeed the God of all comfort.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." - 2 Cor 1:3-4"

Embracing Pain

Excerpt from the book, "Jesus Driven Ministry" by Ajith Fernando (*Emphasis mine)
"I was once in the West when I was preparing a talk on the stresses and strains of ministry. Alert to any conversation that related to this topic, I was surprised when a significant number of Christians told me that they or their loved ones had been liberated from bothersome commitments that had been causing them stress and strain.

One had given up a difficult assignment, another had left a difficult church, and another had separated from a difficult spouse. They testified that God had freed them from pain. The question I had was whether God was asking them to embrace the pain because of commitment to these people or causes."

Embracing pain must be the most unpopular thing to do. By nature, we will want to avoid pain at all cost. We have tasted it, we know how it rocks our emotions, we fear how it might rip us apart and the feeling is just downright horrible. However, pain is not always bad. Yes, it can be a horrible time, but it can also be most enriching.

It is always tempting to take the easy way out by cutting short a process that God might want you to go through. Not all sufferings and pain come as a result of your folly, although even if it does, God had allowed it so that you might grow. We will do well to remember the story of Job in times of suffering.

In a season of trial and pain, one should always look to God and asked God to reveal His purpose and will for him in that situation. All too often, we rob ourselves of a wonderful growth experience with Him by running away from the pain our own way. And the result is that we never grow in areas that are uncomfortable(at first) to us.

Of course I am not saying you should purposely stay in a difficult situation when God had shown you a way out. But more often that not, we have a tendency to rush through the painful situation and conclude very quickly that a certain way out is of God. It might not be so. In our rush to avoid pain, a quick exit could be devised by our own cleverness and not from God.

So am I saying it is right to embrace pain and wrong to escape from it? No. What is important is that one should not rush to escape from a painful situation when it arises. Instead, he should continue to rejoice in the Lord and understand the Lord's will for him in that situation (James 1:2-4). Then the journey will be most enriching - as you depend on Him for grace, strength, courage and joy to go through it all - and emerged from it stronger, and closer to God than ever before.

What is Love?

I am reminded once again of what love is.

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." ~ 1 Cor 13:4-7

My mind goes "check, check, oops, oops" as I go through the list. How many times have I become unloving? Hmmm, I would say many. High on my list will be "does not seek its own" - aha. the auto-habitual selfish self always want the convenient and easy way out. It almost always grumble over small inconvenient things.

The other one would be "endures all things". Not an easy one huh? Especially with folks that you are adverse to, and circumstances that may make you less loving.

A very important character of love is "it does not take into account a wrong suffered". Many times a great many Christians have stumbled and fallen away because of this. It is difficult for someone who is hurt not to take into account a wrong suffered. The anger, the hurt, the pain and the bitterness demand an apology. It gave the one who has suffered the right to an apology. This is not wrong.

The problem is that many a times, the apology is not given. The hurt party demands an apology but doesn't get it. So the person gets even more upset and kept waiting for that apology to come but it never happened. Slowly, but surely, bitterness eat his life away. Is it therefore so hard to not take into account a wrong suffered? Yes it is. But Jesus teach us it is possible, and He did just that for us.

Remember my friends. Love does not take into account a wrong suffered. It is tough, but it gives life - both to yourself and the perpetrator. It is a choice you have to make. Love is a choice. Jesus chose to die for us. You and I have chosen to live for Him. So let's live for Him by loving Him, and loving your neighbours as yourselves. Dropped that wrong suffered. Love your enemies and bless them(Luke 6:27-28). And you shall see that Love never fails (1 Cor 13:8).

East Timor Reflection no.2

"What do the people need or want?" - this is probably the no.1 question on most people's mind when they have been to East Timor and thinking how to help the people. The needs are many - for some, it's daily food. for some, it is education. and for others, work and a steady income. "How do we solve all these problems?" - Wrong question. Although some people might have the perception that Timorese in general are quite a laidback people, I've seen examples that beg to differ.

I've met brilliant Timorese. And I've met brilliant Timorese youth with a never-say-die attitude and they made it through tough times. So what's the right question? I would say - "How do they solve all these problems?". And believe me, I think they are able to. If we would humble ourselves, learn from them and aid them along, and work together with them.

The other part of our world has so much resources that we are not utilizing them to the fullest. There are many needs that we can help meet with our resources, but which one comes first? I personally feel that education is the priority. Not the usually assumed academic education where one thinks that with some form of paper, they can find a decent job and live well. Come on, with 40% unemployment, what can a piece of paper do?

If you have read the book, "The book that transforms nations" by Loren Cunningham, you will know what I mean. Social skills, healthy habits, problem solving skills, working as a team, leadership skills, taking care of one’s body, moral values, conflict resolution, spiritual disciplines, godly character & development and so on as Education. It covers every aspect of a growing child and a growing adult into fuller maturity and wisdom. But besides all these good stuff, I realised after reading the book that you have to have God involved. Who's going to teach radical things like "Love your enemies? Bless those who cursed you? Consider others better than yourself? Look to the interest of others?"

If a person will have that, and willingly do it because he loves God, that'll do it. Lives will be transformed. Society will be transformed. There will be no poor people. There will be food for everyone. Our earlier questions will be answered. There will be peace in Timor. There will be prosperity.

Until then, let us change our mindsets about our Timorese friends and about ourselves. We're not in anyway smarter or greater. We're just privileged to be born and bred in a country that God has placed you and I in. And yes, you and I have a part to play in the transformation of lives. Tell them God's love. Teach them by living godly lives. God will answer your question, and theirs in due time.

East Timor Reflection no.1

    

Dinner with Aussie friends at Gleno - Orphanage founder, water project co-ordinator, educationalist, English trainer, community project manager, handyman. (the ladies are preparing food in kitchen)


 At Mary McKillop East Timor - Tetun Literacy Programme, Marungi(Moringa)workshops, compassionate care, sponsorships, justice advocacy, health education

This trip has been an eventful one. Besides losing my trail in climbing Mt.Ramelau, the other exciting aspect of this trip would be the no. of contacts and knowledge I have gained about those who are working in East Timor and for East Timor.

Even though my visit was only a short one week, God had used me to link up people and to share information with those on the field. I am glad I was of some use to those on the ground. However, there are some thoughts that lingered at the back of my mind after these encounters.

"Are we intentionally spending time to find out the good work that others are doing? Even if they are not Christians. Do we make an effort to know them? Or even to humble ourselves and learn from them?"

"Are we caught up in a "I want to do it on my own" mentality? or are we able to join/partner/support existing programs that are already running so that we do not waste resources? (and have an open door to share the good news with them as well)"

"Are we connected only through a Christian network? How about connecting with other workers and NGOs (even if they are not Christians)? Are we that exclusive (or seem to be that exclusive)?"

"Why are we not partnering or working with other groups? Is it because we failed to see that joining them (and in the process be a witness to them) is much more effective than getting them to cross over the barriers to join us? Or is it because the rigid institutional structure does not permit us to do so?"

These questions certainly makes me feel frustrated, and especially so when I am not in Timor. Perhaps it is because I've seen similar things like this happen in Cambodia, in Timor and even in Singapore. The followers of Jesus must stop being exclusive amongst themselves, and amongst other people. No church belongs to itself, and no members belong to his own church alone. All belong to Christ and are in Christ. You and I are the body - whether you're a full time worker or not. We must break out of our 'exclusive' mould.

My conclusion: The need to spend time with people who are doing a great job in Timor - Christians or not - is necessary. We better go with a humble heart or fail trying.

Manhood and Purity

Excerpt from the book, "Every Man's Battle" by Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey

"God's definition of real manhood is pretty simple: It means hearing His word and doing it. That's God's only definition of manhood-a doer of the Word."

"Men receive a chemical high from sexually charged images - a hormone called epinephrine is secreted into the bloodstream, which locks into the memory whatever stimulus is present at the time of the emotional excitement."

"Your purity must not depend upon your mate's heath or desire. God holds you responsible, and if you don't gain control before your wedding day, you can expect it to crop up after the honeymoon."

"You see, sexual impurity isn't like a tumor growing out of control inside us. We treat it that way when our prayers focus on deliverance, as we plead for someone to come remove it. Actually sexual impurity is a series of bad decisions on our part - a result of immature character - and deliverance won't deliver you into instant maturity. Character work needs to be done."

"God will run with you, but He won't run for you. It's time to plunge ahead and go like a man."

I've learned a lot from this book. Every guy should grab it and read it - you'll be surprised by the honesty in it, and biblical, practical ways in dealing with the battles every man faced - battles with sexual lusts, thoughts & temptations. Being a male does not give us guys the excuse to say we are easily stimulated by what we see. A real man deals with it and gives no room for sexually charged images to enter through his eyes.

So as the author says, go at it like a man and shape up one's character and maturity even before the wedding day arrives. It's gonna be a daily battle - so let's fight it like a man.

Reflection on America's Got Talent - Las Vegas Top 40

Wow. For a while, I thought it was the final round of America's Got Talent. If you've caught tonight's show, you will understand what I am talking about.

All the contestants are getting emotional and sang like their life depended on it. They were totally sold out on winning, on going all the way to the final round, and finishing the race.

They were many broken hearts, and they were also many delighted souls. Those who went on to the next round were tearing, and crying, and embracing each other.

"This is the most fantastic day of my life," quips one contestant. Another one exclaimed in delight, "We have made it!". And we're only talking about going to the next round of Top 40

It amazes me. What would you and I say on the day we go to heaven? "This is the most fantastic day of my life"? "We have made it"? Or will you be heaving a sigh of relief thinking that you could be missing out? OR will you be like the others who were crying uncontrollably and shaking their heads in disbelief? They didn't make it to the next round. They didn't make it to heaven.

Will we be like the contestants who are TOTALLY sold out to the cause? To win, to go on to the next round, to reach the final and finished it? A 1 million dollars man-made competition can propel people to such a dizzy height, what more an infinite God-made mission? But are we totally sold out to His cause, or are we like the audiences who only sit back, vote and dream?

It puts me to shame. And it puts us to shame. That people chasing after earthly riches can be so totally consumed by their cause while we who claimed to be His followers are not running after Him by an even crazier zeal!

Yes, the show might have given the full impact by clever filming and editing - still, I believe the contestants are totally in it. And I, who claimed to be His, better be in it for His cause.

Christians' Got Talent - and we better start using it for what is worth more than 1 million dollars and all the fame in the world.

Lean on Jesus, Lean on me

This is a great song. It gives me hope, and it reminds me to follow Jesus. To be able to offer my shoulder and say, "here's my shoulder you can lean on me". The children and youth of today are facing tough times in the world. Reading their blogs only seems to magnify the burden and need.

So what can I do Lord? How can I help them? I've got nothing but my prayers. And my shoulder. So my young friends, here's my shoulder you can lean on me.

And may the poor and weak find your shoulders too.

Sons of God

"You are ALL sons of God through faith IN Christ Jesus, for ALL of you who were baptized INTO Christ have clothed yourselves WITH Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are ALL ONE IN Christ Jesus" - Gal 3:26-28

What a powerful verse. And what a revelation of who we are in Christ Jesus. Those who believe in Jesus are all sons of God. ALL. All are brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ - no race, no status, no gender matters anymore. All are ONE in Christ.

All believers are sons of God. We have this huge family living all around the world. But are we behaving like how family members ought to treat each? Or are we strangers, and worse, enemies?

Why is it so difficult for people to reconcile? And why is it so difficult to accept the mistakes of others? You are ALL sons of God! Let me repeat "YOU are ALL sons of GOD!" Can we not look beyond the errors and follies of our brothers? Can we not forgive? You are ALL sons of God my friends! Why should Coffee time be awkward and impossible? Let's have a meal together, for we are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.

Gal 3:28 for the modern day - "There is neither denomination nor institution, yours nor mine, fiery charismatic nor silent conservative, for WE are ALL ONE in CHRIST JESUS" Amen.


Together as a family with Jesus.

Is Christian Hip Hop Ok?

The song was written 2 years ago before the movie, The Passion of Christ. They put clips of this movie as the backdrop. What do you think of Christian Hip Hop/Rap? I think if properly used, it's just way cool.

P.S. Watching this video reminded me once again how much Jesus had to go through to redeem me. With tears in my eyes, I come in awe before Him once again. Thank you Jesus.

Sadness, Discouragement and Hope

Emotions is a mystery. It's a gift from God, yet it can be abused and tear us down. Some people say I am emotionless - that would be furthest from the truth. I think I appear emotionless because I figure certain things are not worth getting emotional about. Oh, but I do tear when I feel for something worth tearing. And sometimes, emotion is not something you and I can control.

So it happened before a certain meeting that I was feeling discouraged. That is quite strange because that discouragement appeared out of nowhere. Thank God for group prayers that releases God's word to encourage and affirm. But what do I understand from this? One thing's for sure: The devil is on the prowl.

It is very sad that close friendships are being torn apart by careless words and mistrust. 10 over years of friendship could not withstand the enemy's lie? Oh God. We need your eyes. It is very sad that when people act out of goodwill, they get lambasted for 'taking sides'; and when they try to cool situations down by giving space, they got accused of being uncaring. It is even sadder that genuine friendships built over the years would self-destruct because of a change of place or status. Can a change of place or status wipe off the memories of a friendship that once had so much life and fun? No!

So what am I ranting about down here? I'm talking about hope. "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" ~ Romans 5:3-5

Yes, hope keeps us going. This hope that does not disappoint us keep us going. Who have sadness and yet I don't? Who have discouragements and hurts and yet your friends don't? You are not the only one my friend.

A friend's baby died before the baby see daylight. Does it hurt? A friend gave up his dream of going to the field by staying for another 2 years. Does it hurt? A friend suffers at work and yet go about diligently doing her work. Does it hurt? Oh yes it does. And we are not alone in this hurting world. But we have a Hope.

Hope for the day when a new-born baby shall walk and talk. Hope for the day when the field will be imprinted with footprints that bring good news. Hope for the day when the rewards will not be earthly rewards but heavenly rewards for those found faithful.

I am sad and discouraged with what is happening. But yet I will not break. Why? Because I have a hope. And hope will not disappoint me. Because my hope is in Him who has poured out his love for me. You are not alone. Hope in God, and live.

The Devil's Take on Evangelism

Excerpt from "The Great Commission Lifestyle - Part One: Spiritual Warfare" by Robert E.Coleman

"Nowhere will the satanic attack become more determined than in evangelism. Knowing that his kingdom of darkness is threatened, the devil seeks to remove the good seed of the gospel (Matt 13:19); he sows seeds of discord (Matt 13:38, 39); he blinds the eyes of unbelievers (2 Cor 4:4).

Make no mistake about it. Turning people "from the power of Satan to God" involves mortal combat with the evil one (Acts 26:18). Every advance of the gospel will have to be won by conquest.

The conspiracy of evil has infiltrated all the power structures of society, including governments, schools, business conglomerates, social agencies, even the organized church.

No institution fallen creatures have developed escapes the enemy's cunning. Working through misguided subjects and systems of this world and using whatever devious means expedient - slander, intrigue, deceit, rebellion, betrayal, intimidation, and infliction of torture - the devil seeks to destroy the work of Christ.

But we need not fear the fury of the adversary. Greater is He who lives in the saints than the manipulator of the world (1 John 4:4). Jesus has all the authority, not Satan. The time is hastening when all the powers of this age shall be put under His feet (Matt 22:44; Acts 2:35; Heb 1:13, 10:13). If then Christ is for us, who can be against us? In Him we are more than conquerors. (Rom 8:31, 37)

Disciples of the cross engage the enemy in this assurance of victory. The church of God, like an undefeatable army, will at last shatter the strongholds of Satan and storm the gates of hell."

Trust in God, not man

Excerpt from "Of The Imitation of Christ - Book 2, Admonitions Pertaining to Inward Things - Chapter 1: The Inward Life" by Thomas à Kempis.

"When you have Christ, you are rich, and have enough. He Himself will be your provider and faithful steward in all things, so that you need not trust in men.

For men soon change, and quickly fail; but "Christ abideth forever" (John 12:34) and stands by us firmly unto the end. There is no great trust to be put in a frail and mortal man (Jer 17:5), even though he be profitable and dear unto us.

Neither ought we to be much grieved if sometimes he cross and contradict us. They that today are with you, tomorrow may be against you; and often again they turn around like the wind.

Put all your trust in God (1 Peter 5:7), let Him be your fear and your love. He Himself shall answer for you, and will do in all things what is best for you."

Striking a Balance in our Views and Distribution of Workers

I was just thinking through this. Does it make someone greater if he works full time in a church? Does it count for more than someone who work in the marketplace? I think the answer is a plain NO.

For those of you who are not working as a full time church worker, consider it a privilege that the harvest field is ripe before you. Waiting for you to sow seeds, waiting for you to reap the harvest. Who has a bigger list of friends and colleagues who do not know the Lord? I am very sure it is you who are working in the marketplace. So consider it a privilege to have this field before you, and serve the Lord faithfully in it and touch lives.

To full time workers: The day when you say you do not have anyone to evangelise to anymore will be the saddest day in your life. Do not be deceived into using your environment as an excuse for a lack of contacts. The streets are full of people who do not know the Lord. Pray for divine contacts and continue to reach out. Touch base again.

Whether we work in the church or in the marketplace, we must always remember that there are people still waiting for us to preach the good news to them. And we have a mandate to tell them the good news and to live out the good news.

What troubles me most is not the bias view of full-time church vocation looking more spiritual and superior than marketplace work, but the great imbalance of human resources. Every mission field that I have been to, I always hear the same thing - there is not enough cross-cultural workers. The ratio is way too imbalance. This is not always the fault of churches not sending, but also missionaries not training and raising up local leaders. But often, we have a problem of either sending, going or both. No wonder the bible tells us to 'ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out his workers into his harvest field' (Matt 9:38)

So I really pray that God will help us to live our lives more purposefully for Him. To love Him and to love our neighbours as ourselves. "Send more workers into your harvest field Lord. Many are still waiting for your good news. Let me be one of those who are sent. Amen.

God knows who's right and who's wrong. You follow Him

Think you know the truth? Sometimes it is very easy to be caught up in the words of man and believe with certainty a certain matter until you discover the other side of the story. Who then will you believe in? I believe no one will ever really know the truth of a human-mixed-up-complicated-and-messy matter unless we ourselves are God. God knows the intention, God knows what each person really said, and God knows who's right and who's wrong.

Am I then saying that we should not find out the truth of a matter? Of course not. But in matters where the web of complication are so entangled, how can we ever, with our own human wisdom, resolve it? I say my views are right and you say your views are right so who's right? Do you want to carry around a tape recorder for the rest of your life so that you can verify to the dot every single word each person say? And even if the word was spoken, are you God that you are so confident to gauge the intentions of the heart by that word? I say you are thinking like this and you say I am thinking like this so who's right? Is Paul or Barnabas right in Acts 15:36-40?

What is right my brothers is this:
1. "Love your enemies(if indeed that person has become your enemy), do good to those who hate you(if indeed that person hates you), bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." - Luke 6:27-28
and to
2. Forgive as the Lord forgave you - Matt 18:21-35

We need to move on not by sweeping everything under the carpet. But by doing what is right.

To present to you a different perspective on how our bias and weakness as fallen human being work in us, read the article below and discover for yourself what you have always thought all along had another side to it too. Only God knows. Let Him handle it.
Read: The story of the song, Hotel California

Wisdom on: What you hear, what you believe, what you say

Excerpt from "The Imitation of Christ", Book 1 Chapter 4, by Thomas à Kempis

"We ought not to believe every saying or suggestion but ought to warily and patiently to ponder the matter with reference to God. But alas, such is our weakness, that we often believe and speak evil of others rather than good! Good men do not easily give credit to every tale; for they know that human infirmity is prone to evil (Gen 8:21), and very subject to offend in word (James 3:2)

It is great wisdom not to be rash in actions (prov. 19:2), nor to stand obstinately in your own conceits. It belongs also to this same wisdom not to believe everything you hear, or to pour into the ears of others (Prov 17:9) what you have heard or believed.

A good life makes a man wise according to God (prov 15:33), and gives him experience in many things (Eccles 1:16). The humbler a man is in himself, and the more resigned to God, the more prudent will he be in all things, and the more at peace."

I am still learning my friends. Are you?

The Great Commission and You

"If a commission by an earthly king is considered a honor, how can a commission by a Heavenly King be considered a sacrifice?" -- David Livingstone, missionary to Africa

"The command has been to 'go,' but we have stayed -- in body, gifts, prayer and influence. He has asked us to be witnesses unto the uttermost parts of the earth ... but 99% of Christians have kept puttering around in the homeland." -- Robert Savage, Latin American Mission

"'Not called!' did you say?
'Not heard the call,' I think you should say.
Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear Him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father's house and bid their brothers and sisters and servants and masters not to come there. Then look Christ in the face -- whose mercy you have professed to obey -- and tell Him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish His mercy to the world. -- William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army

"The Christian is not obedient unless he is doing all in his power to send the Gospel to the heathen world." -- A.B. Simpson, founder of The Christian and Missionary Alliance

"I have but one passion: It is He, it is He alone. The world is the field and the field is the world; and henceforth that country shall be my home where I can be most used in winning souls for Christ." -- Count Nicolaus Ludwig von Zinzendorf, leader of the early protestant world mission movement

"As the Father has sent me, I also send you" -- John 20:21

Are you ready to go?

Let my heart be broken with the things that break God's heart

Excerpt from an Urbana 87 article by Roberta Hestenes
"Many years ago there was a blind beggar who sat by the side of the road, and as the traffic went by no one paid much attention to him. But one day he heard the noise of a crowd, and he knew that something was happening. Someone important was passing by. He asked, "What's happening? What's going on?" The bystanders replied, "It's Jesus of Nazareth. He's coming. He's on his way with his disciples to Jerusalem." Then the beggar cried out, "Jesus, son of David have mercy on me." Luke tells us that the leaders, the ones who preceded Jesus, probably meaning the disciples, said to this beggar, "Shut up. Be quiet. Don't disturb the status quo."

All too often I sense that we are afraid to feel the hurt, the pain and the suffering of this world. We anesthetize ourselves. We keep ourselves inundated with sensations and with noise and with activities so we won't see the pain of this world. Jesus' disciples were walking down the road, and Jesus had important things to do. They were important people because they were with Jesus, and who's got time for blind beggars? But the blind man would not shut up. He cried out even louder, 'Jesus, son of David, have mercy on me." And Jesus did something astonishing. He stopped, and everyone with him had to stop - why go if Jesus isn't going with you? Then Jesus called to the man. In the midst of the press of the multitude and the dust and the noise of the crowd, Jesus had time for one person's hurts." (Click here for full reading)

Are you afraid to feel the hurt, the pain and suffering of this world? Are you one of those that will say, "Shut up. Be quiet. Don't disturb the status quo" in expense of those who are poor, hurting and suffering?

Bob Pierce, World Vision's founder had this to say,"Let my heart be broken with the things that break God's heart"
"Let my heart be broken with the things that break God's heart"
"Let my heart be broken with the things that break God's heart"
"Let my heart be broken with the things that break God's heart .....

Thank you Terima Kasih 谢谢 Obrigado

I want to say a big thank you to all who have been praying for me and is still praying for me. Your prayers have done wonders for my soul because the Lord has heard your prayers and answered them.

Thank you to all of you for your counsel and your concern. My decision has been a very difficult one and one that you might even differ. But nonetheless, all of you have been a great pillar of support whether you agreed or not to my decision. I've been really blessed by your counsel and concern.

Last but not least, a big thank you to the Lord my God for bringing me through the most difficult period of my life thus far. The people I met, listened to and spoke with during that difficult time is certainly divine. If there is one thing that the Lord has constantly reminded me of, from the lowest period of my life to the 'reluctant' spring season now, is this: "I have not forgotten you"

"Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands." Isaiah 49:15-16 (NLT)

Praise the Lord O my soul!

Alive, Busy and Rested

Hello folks! In case you think I'm dead and buried together with this blog, I'm not. It's just that there have been quite a lot of things happening in my life for the past few weeks that had made me really quiet in my blog. And also, I have been busier than ever. Is busyness a bad thing? Someone taught that it's not. Hurriedness is. Restlessness is. Jesus was busy(having lots to do) but He was never in a hurry(never anxious, never overwhelmed).

"Though I am always in a haste," said John Wesley. "I am never in a hurry, because I never undertake more work than I can go through with perfect calmness of spirit."

You can say that I am now at rest - finally after a year or so.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almight. I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust" - Psalm 91:1-2

Are you at rest my friend? If not, why not? Does the verse above rings a bell?

"There is no true rest until we truly trust the Lord."

May you find rest in Him and become alive again.

Hope Village Prey Veng

"That's Chong Chit. Oh, and that's Songha, Vitmol, Vanet, Sopheap....", my fingers busy pointing as the list goes on. Why was I so excited about these children on television? I realise one thing: Perhaps I do miss them. Though I only spent about 3 months with them, the last month being the one where I really got to know them better, I think there was a kind of bond which you will only realise after you have left. I miss those smiles, the laughter, the time spent playing games together, speaking simple English and Khmer to each other, being a 'big brother' to them and just simply hanging out. Maybe it is Cambodia. Maybe it is the children. Maybe it is the vision I received years ago. or maybe it is just something God has deposited in my heart. I will visit them again someday, God willing.

I just wanna worship you, Jesus

Who am I Lord? If not for you, I will still be in darkness. If not for you, I am as nothing. It has been a stormy season but I will choose to worship you. The whole world can come crumbling down but I will still choose to worship you. For who am I before you Lord? I just wanna worship you Jesus. I just wanna sit at your feet and enjoy your presence. I just wanna worship you.

Here's a really beautiful song by Casting Crowns. You'll be touched by it. Come worship Jesus again.


Who am I - by Casting Crowns
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

God knows

Quotes:
"For a servant of God to have authority in every sentence he utters, he must first suffer for the message he is to deliver. Without great tribulation, there is no great illumination." — John Sung, 20th-century Chinese evangelist

"The future is as bright as the promises of God." — Adoniram Judson, (1788-1850)

God knows. Trials come for a purpose. Have you forgotten James 1:2-4? Do not think you are weak when you refuse to go against the tide. Let God take charge. He knows. In His time, He will reveal. In His time, He will pave the way. Listen to Him and you will know what to do.

Do not think you are alone. For great men and women of God face such dilemmas too. Learn from them. Look at William Carey, Hudson Taylor, Jackie Pullinger and many others. Times of long waiting, lack of understanding from churches, criticism of 'radical' approaches such as dressing like the natives, problems with an ineffective mission board, application rejected by every missionary organization. What else is new under the sun?

Look to God my friend. Listen to Him and remember His words.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Cor 12:10

"From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do." - Isaiah 46:11

God is BIG enough. He knows.

Indignant

I am indignant because:
The bible talks a lot about the poor but the church is doing nothing about them

I am indignant because:
Christians have forgotten to follow the example of Christ: Humility, suffering, forgiving, bearing with one another,love

I am indignant because:
The church has become a complex institution and not a complete community of believers serving the Lord

I am indignant because:
Church leaders think they understand mission work but would not find out why mission work in their church is non-existent or ineffective

I am indignant because:
We think we are kingdom-minded but we would not contact the church next door for a cup of coffee nor work together for His sake

I am indignant because:
I am blinded and judgemental even now as I 'judge'.

Disclaimer: Everything referred here is in general. It does not mean all churches or all christians.

Conclusion: "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's WILL for you in Christ Jesus" - 1 Thess 5:16-18.

And get rid of that negative and judgemental spirit!!!

2nd Year Anniversary

Time really flies by. This is the exact day I left East Timor 2 years ago. The immigration stamp on my passport reminded me of my short-lived days there. I have learned much in these 2 years and for that, I am grateful.

I am just wondering how long my patience will last. It is indeed wearing thin. Very soon, it will be the 3rd year. Will I be back by then? Or will I still be in Singapore? Am I now a bird in a cage? Or a bird in training? Maybe I am both. Both are well-fed and well-taken care of. But neither one taste real freedom.

Ah, do I see water in the desert and streams in the wasteland? Only God will show. I will commit my life to you O God, and I will go when the time is up, God willing.

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Hope in Him and praise Him. For He is my Saviour and my God" ~ taken from the Psalms


Halo Orasaun - A Prayer
Nai Jesus, ajuda hau hare ita-bot. Ita-bot bele loke odamatan. Ita-bot bele fo hau esperansa. Hau sei hare Ita-bot. Hau sei tuir Ita-bot. Hau fiar Ita-bot. Hau hadomi Ita-bot. Nai Jesus, mai, mai. Mai ajuda Timor. Mai ajuda hau fila fali. Hau fiar Ita-bot.

Courageous Waiting and Suffering

In the middle of a prayer time yesterday, God dropped this in my heart - "It takes a lot more courage to wait and suffer than to quit and go." What a trial.

"For to you it has been granted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake" ~ Phil 1:29 (NKJV)

"Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" ~ Psalm 27:14


O Lord, strengthen my heart. I have nothing to draw from except that which is from you. Let me abide in you always. Amen.

The Little Ones Are Waiting

"many things can wait, the child cannot... to him, we cannot say tomorrow; his name is today"

These words from a UNICEF office caught me. How often do we say tomorrow? "Wait a while more and see. Do not be rash. Others are helping." Frankly speaking, what else is there to "see"? What is so rash about giving some money so that a child's life can be rescued? Who doesn't know that there are many organizations helping needy children but are there enough?!

We can reason all we want and some reasoning are not invalid(but still incomplete). My question therefore is: ARE YOU PLAYING YOUR PART IN SAVING LIVES, ESPECIALLY THE LITTLE ONES? What are you doing with that extra money you have every month? Do you not know that your money can go a long way in helping a child? Do you know there are many many worthy organizations with a worthy cause you can give to in saving lives? Waiting & doing NOTHING makes you and me a murderer. Yes, a murderer.

Imperfect and limited as we are, we ought to do at least our bit - in small or big ways for the little ones. If you would like to know how you can help, email me at: revivalgen.jasonlee@gmail.com. I will provide you information and links to organizations that are doing their part in helping needy children and saving lives.

Matthew 25:41-46
Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

You've been warned.

Wake up!

"Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand." ~ Matthew 12:25

This a crucial wake up to pray. If the house is divided, it will NOT stand. Let us not be ignorant to the scheme of the enemy but forgive each other. Do not be caught in his trap (2 Cor 2:10-11).

Pray my friends, pray.

Bear with the Defects of Others

I will quote some phrases from the timeless classic, "Of the Imitation of Christ" by Thomas Kempis, and share what I have learned from it. Be encouraged.

"Those things that a man approves not in himself or others he ought to suffer patiently, until God orders things otherwise." - Bear with things you do not approve of or do not agree with until God orders otherwise. He's in charge, worry not.

"If one who is once or twice warned will not stay, contend not with him, but commit all to God, that His will may be done (Matt 6:10), and He be honoured in all His servants, who well know how to turn evil into good." - If after speaking to a person about a certain matter and he does not listen, do not contend any longer with him. Instead, commit precious time to God in prayer. He will do what He wills, and He can turn any bad situation into good ones. Trust in Him steadfastly.

"Endeavour to be patient in bearing with the defects and infirmities of others, of whatever sort they be; for you also have many failings which must be borne with by others (1 Thess 5:15, Gal 6:1)" - We are in the same boat. Many times we complain, criticise or disapprove of another person, but we would not do that to ourselves. Fact is, we seldom weigh our neighbour in the same balance as ourselves. We must humble ourselves before God and before man.

"No man is without fault, no man without his burden, no man sufficient of himself, no man wise enough of himself. But we ought to bear with one another, comfort one another, help, instruct, and admonish one another (1 Cor 12:25, 1 Thess 5:14)" - Remember this. No one person is greater than another. All are important, all are subjected to Christ. Build each other up.

"Occasions of adversity discover best how great virtue each one has. For such occasions do not make a man frail, but they reveal what sort he is" - There is great training and reward in bearing with the defects of others. Let us become more like the Master. He knows and He cares.

Revival in Troubled Times

"Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes" ~ Isaiah 54:2

"God, are you sure I am hearing right?", I asked. At this junction, this verse is certainly very puzzling. I thought the tent is looking shaky and need some repair work, but You want us to enlarge it? As I ponder, God seems to say, "Why not? Look at the bible. Did revival happen in pleasant times or troubled times?"

Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt - What happened before that? "...I have heard them crying out...I am concerned...I have come down to rescue them..", the LORD said. (Exodus 3:7-10). Then I remembered the book of Judges - God raised up judges to deliver His people whenever His people are suffering greatly and cried out to Him. Nehemiah cried out to the Lord and the Lord rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem in the midst of great adversity. The disciples did not know what to do after Jesus ascended to heaven but they were constantly praying together (Acts 1:14) and as we know, the Holy Spirit came on Pentecost and revival hit the land. The times were even harder in Acts chapter 8, but as we read, the Kingdom of God expanded even further in the midst of persecution.

So what's so strange about this verse in troubled times? Nothing. It is only strange to us because we have made God soooo small in our eyes. Forgive us Lord. Rally us to pray and cry out to you like never before. I know you will hear us. Yes Lord, you will hear us. And you will work great wonders before our teary eyes.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." ~ Joshua 1:9

Resurrection of Fire-filled Prayer

This is a season of prayer for me - I have no doubt about it. A week ago, my friend told me, "You need to go on a higher 'dimension' of prayer. Pray till the breakthrough come. Cry out to Him. Get hold of portions of scriptures. God will reveal things through His word. Persevere in intense prayer."

A very good friend preached - "Behind every vision that is given and fulfilled are faceless and nameless saints who have paid the price on their knees - in much prayer and intercession. Labour in prayer!"

As I begin to engaged myself in more intense prayer, God's word became more alive. He begins, first of all, by showing me what I need to repent of. Lack of faith & unbelief, fear & disobedience and even to release forgiveness. He then begin to direct me to scriptures and show me what I need to do. It is awesome.

1. Accept the frailty of man - No man is perfect. I need to forgive man of his wrongs as much as I need man to forgive me of my wrongs. I shall elaborate this further in another post.

2. Do all things without grumbling or disputing - Phil 2:14-15. So that we may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish. More in another post.

God begins to 'quicken' my spirit and He begins to speak. I'm hearing. I'm catching the fire. I'm ALIVE!!! ROAAARRRR

Beyond Summary - At the Crux

This weekend has been a most powerful and refreshing one. God brought into remembrance the workings of Him in my life and to fan into flame the gifts which He has given me. I remembered. I cried. I wept for souls. I surrender again. I was blind but now I see. I see what has been missing from my life, what has been dormant, what has been snuffed.

There is too much to say. The presence of God so powerful, so assuring, so awesome. I can linger on and on in praise and worship at the altar of my God. There were Spirit-led prayers that ministered deep into the hearts of my friends, there were God-birthed encouragement that can only come from the Lord because no one had knowledge of that matter but when spoken, both parties exclaimed in wonder at the confirmation.

I want to commit my life to God again. I will ask the Lord to make me a soul winner for His sake. I will ask the Lord to deliver my church from our iniquities and foolishness. "O Lord, have mercy on us. We have cast aside your will and follow blindly our ways. Turn us from our foolishness and help us do the things we did at first when we were madly in love with You. Be patient with us and do not forsake us. Forgive us and deliver us from the curse. Help each and everyone of us to walk in step with Your Spirit and bear Your fruits. May we live lives that are worthy of the gospel of Christ, and glorify your name always. Amen"

"I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked men, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false. You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place." ~ Revelation 2:2-5

God of the Impossible - Watch Him Defy Your Odds

I felt a certain sense of peace even in the midst of this uncertainty. What's it gonna be? For 2 years in a row, I have been given only a one year renewal for my PR re-entry permit. The norm is 5 years. Logically, I would say I still lack the criteria for a 5 years renewal but somehow, it felt different this time. My LG and friends were roped in to pray and God had answered our prayers. I had been given 5 years! This time no questions asked, no higher-ranked officer handling my case and the renewal process finished within 10 minutes. How's that for a hallelujah to God? Yes! Praise His mighty name!

God is just so good. He knows how much this renewal meant to me, and He has given me the first step. I can go anyway up to 5 years without having to return - that is really really going to be helpful in my work. As I sat waiting for my turn in the renewal process and reading my bible, these verses reminded me of His goodness:

"For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you." ~ Psalm 84:11-12

Impossible you say? "For nothing is impossible with God" - Luke 1:37. And He showed up again today. What an awesome God I serve. Just gotta trust and obey. He'll work all things out. Yes, He will.

When I Survey the Wondrous Cross

Love demands my soul....love demands my soul...my life, my all.... Is that you? Has such a love demands your soul and your all? May this song remind and challenge you in your devotion to the Lord again.



When I Surveyed (The Wondrous Cross) By Kathryn Scott

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

Forbid it Lord that I should boast
Save in the death of Christ my God
All the vain things that charm me most
I sacrifice them to His blood

See from His head His hands His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ere such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing so divine
Demands my soul
Demands my soul
Love demands my soul
My life my all

Are you giving to the poor?

This serves as a reminder for us, followers of Jesus Christ.

Excerpt from the book, "Anthropological Insights for Missionaries", in Chapter 11 - The Unfinished Task.

"David Barrett points out that 780 million people today live in absolute poverty, a condition of life defined by the World Bank as a condition "so characterized by malnutrition, illiteracy and disease as to be beneath any reasonable definition of human decency". Roughly 500 million of these needy are on the edge of starvation, and another 1.5 billion are malnourished.

Of the 125 million babes born in 1981, 12 million died before their first birthday, and another 5 million will not see their fifth birthday. One child in four suffers from malnutrition; four of every five children lack adequate health care. The poorest children are often parents themselves: 40 percent of the first births in the Two-Thirds World are to girls fifteen years old or younger.

In contrast to this, the 1.5 billion followers of Christ own two-thirds of the world's resources and have an average yearly income more than three times that of non-Christians. Not all Christians, however, are materially wealthy. Almost 200 million live in absolute poverty, while 750 million of their fellow Christians live in affluence. Although most well-off Christians support relief, on an average they give less than 3 percent of their income to Christian ministries. If they were to give even a tithe, Barrett concludes that "to a large extent, the global sharingby Christians of money, wealth, property, and goods could solve most of the problems of famine, poverty, disease, unemployment, dangerous water supply and so on"

Are you heading towards the right direction? Or are there holes in your pocket? Start giving.

"For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, 'You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.'" - Deut 15:11(ESV)

Don't we dare forget that.

Can I receive love but not follow?

Lord - Our King. One whom we worship. One whom we subject ourselves to. One whom we bow down and worship.

Saviour - Our Redeemer. One who saves. One who purchased us by His blood. One who rescues us from our sins and condemnation.

Master - Our Great Teacher. One who teach with His total being. One whose ways are perfect. One whose ways we seek to follow.

Friend - Our Closest Companion. One who walks with us through all ups and downs. One who make known His inmost thoughts to us. One who never leaves us even when we had left.

Who is Jesus to you? Is He only saviour to you? Is He only a friend to you? Or is He your Lord and Master as well? Let us not forget that Christ is all and He want us to know Him in all His fullness and greatness. This is but a mere description of Him in what human words can describe.

Let us not be ignorant. We must follow Him and become more like Him each day. And let us not kid ourselves on a job well-done when someone makes a 'decision' for Jesus only to say 'I cannot commit(in following His ways).' Has the person really believe and turn from his sins? Maybe yes, maybe no. But Jesus must be Lord and Master as well.

"Oh how far we have fallen! Oh how little we have to draw from! Stories from the past have served to remind us again and again of our lack and want of prayers and love. I have fallen short too. Way too short. May the Lord open our eyes to our deficiencies. May He moved His people to become more like Him. To be really more like Him. Amen"

"I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, and my message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith would not rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God." - 1 Cor 2:3-5.

Dear brothers and sisters, are we missing something in our sharing of the gospel? And receive a 'result' that is equally deficient too? May His mighty wind blow again.

I Beat My Body

"Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize" ~ 1 cor 9:25-27

Yes Lord. This is not an easy time. It is a time of further moulding and grinding and it is indeed tough. But Lord, you are my strength and my shield. You will lift up my gloom and my countenance shall shine again. I will run with perseverance the race marked out for me. I will fix my eyes on you and will not grow weary and lose heart. I have not yet resisted to the point of shedding blood, have I? Grant me strength that I may endure hardship as discipline, that the pain may produce a harvest of righteousness and peace when I have been trained by it. Let me not shirk any responsibilities or complain about my tasks. But let me do all things with all joy with a sincere heart. I will give thanks to you Lord for you are good. Your love endures forever. Amen.

Wonderful Friends, Wonderful Saviour

Today we met at Manna, a Korean restuarant near Raffles Place and we had a sumptuous meal. The price is a bit hefty for me but worth every penny of my time with such friends. Ex-colleagues that stay in touch and get together every now and then don't come along easily. Especially not when most of us had left the company about 5-6 years ago. Friends are a blessing.

We talked about everything and anything to do with our lives and interests. We talked about health issues, about investment and money, about other friends who were not able to join us, about travelling and holidays, and about good ol' memories.

It seemed so natural as if we were still in the same company. As if we haven't grown older. As if we haven't part company and went on our way to other countries and companies. It was a delight to meet, eat and talk the night away. Such a blessing and such wonderful people.

I wish these wonderful people will know Christ someday. I wish they will have an even more abundant life than what they are having now. I wish they will find the best gift and joy they can find in Jesus. I wish, I wish. I must start praying.

Humility and the Restful Heart

Excerpt from the book, Companion to the Poor, in italics
In Andrew Murray's definition of humility, it is a perfect quietness of the heart; it is never sore or irritated or disappointed. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed and despised.

Such a high order yet Christ show us it is attainable by His example. And a great many saints displayed this too, except that none was perfect except for Christ. What struck me most is - "to be at rest when I am blamed and despised".

The human nature is such that we instinctively defend ourselves or get worked up when we are blamed and despised. Our ego cries out for "fairness" and seek to defend its right to look good. It cannot withstand false accusations, wrongful blame and hard sayings.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying we should not explain ourselves in sticky situations but in a lot of matters, there is actually no need to defend ourselves. If you think hard enough about the battles you have fought before, you realised that you could actually brush most of them aside for the sake of peace.

But sometimes, it is really so hard to bite the bullet isn't it? But thanks be to God for His perfect example. I will seek to follow Christ in all His ways and imitate His way of life through the help of the Holy Spirit. I will bow down and submit to you Lord, and my heart shall be at rest.

"When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly." - 1 Peter 2:23

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." - Romans 12:18

Tension

I am no expert in the subject of humility. I know the pride in my life and how I flash it in times of weaknesses. Pride is such a dangerous weapon that our deceitful heart often do not recognise Pride when it is being manifested in our actions and speech. Jesus is the perfect example of a person who had defeated pride. Phil 2:5-11 paints such a beautiful picture of Christ's humility and the life He lived. It is indeed something to be grasped, and something to emulate in our lives.

I am still very much a timid but brash child of God sometimes. I know the rebel in me, and the hot, zealous blood flowing through my veins. Having the winning mentality is detrimental sometimes, and I must admit that it can have a devastating effect in my soul. But the Kingdom of God is not about winning or losing - it is about running and finishing the race; and it is about helping someone to join in the race and guide him along. Oh, how hard it is to submit sometimes! How hard it is to admit defeat! But Christ did all that. His submission and defeat was necessary for the salvation of mankind and victory. The end is so much sweeter than the immediate results but the process so agonising.

But as of now, I am consumed by my zealousness. My eyes are blocked by my passion and my ears began to shut down. I imagine the worst and I geared myself up for war. I am ready to die for such a cause! but a timely advice cool my blood. I put down my sword and armour for a moment and recollect my thoughts. What has He said? What is He saying? Let there be confirmation. That I might not rouse a war without sound counsel from 2 or 3. May God be my judge! and Counsellor.

"Help me to submit to you O Lord. Search my heart and cleanse my thoughts. Let me do everything without complaining and arguing. Let those who wants to win, win. But as for me, let me run the race with love. The love that always forgive, always bear, always peaceful, always smile and always care. Amen"

Oh Timor. Hau hadomi O (I love you)

Today is a busy day of packing my stuffs. This is one thing I dislike the most, i.e. having to move house. As I begin to throw away unwanted items and organize many others, I came across some unknown CDs and DVDs. One of them was written "East Timor Video 1 & 2". The words didn't ring a bell so I decided to stop my packing and watch the DVD.

It was April 27 to May 1 2006. The situation in East Timor was volatile and as the team arrived, we were caught in the middle of a riot. Houses were torched and mobs were walking around the streets with machete. We managed to turn around and went past the eastern roads before it got blocked too. We could see smoke from burning houses rising high as we drove up the hills to Bacau and Los Palos. It was a very sad sight.

The eastern part was peaceful. The medical team was able to help many Timorese and the rest of the team cheer up the villagers with balloons and songs. There were children everywhere - smiling and grinning at us as if they never knew poverty or the state the country is in. They were full of innocence, energy and life - they had so much potential, so much good in them. The video went on to challenge the audience to respond. "God has spoken. Is He speaking to you?", "Children children children everywhere. My heart cries every time I see them", "A part of me was left behind in the village when I left". As I continue to watch and remember the people, I began to wept.

I wept that we are so far off and so helpless to help. I wept that the people have only seen us, their friends only once, and perhaps never to see us again. I wept that there are so many children who will be growing up in a lost world. I wept that there are a lack of workers who will bring the good news to them that all their needs might be met. I wept that it has been almost 2 years since I last talk to a Timorese and laugh with them. I wept because God is filling my heart once again with His love for them. I just wept again and again over those faces - every single one of them, so precious in the sight of God.

"O God. How long must I tarry on? Forgive my impatience. Please send workers, even I, that your will be done. That your love will bind the wounds of the broken-hearted, and your power will set them free. Please Lord. Please Lord. Have mercy on them and on us.

My faithful God who is always near

It is strange how we naturally draw near to God in times of pain and felt Him so much closer than before. I spend more time praying, reading His word and reflecting. I began to enjoy and speak with delight His words because they meant so much more to me now as I can identify with the meanings much more than before. I felt I became 'sharper' spiritually. Am I in denial? No, I don't think so. My feelings still bother me and yesterday I thank God for a group of friends to have dinner with. Otherwise I would have felt really flat.

But why do we draw so much nearer to God and felt His closeness so much more only in times of trial? I wish in 'normal' days I am clinging on to Him as much as I am now. But each season brings a different thing and although this is a painful time, I am relishing it too because I understood a little better of people who suffered in the past. My current pain is nothing at all when compared to great missionaries and saints of the past but like I said, I understand a little better of what they felt - on how they cling on to God in times of great pain and suffering when they are struck with diseases, their children and wives passing away and various troubles. My disappointment served as an encouragement to me to walk closer to God, and to run with perseverance the race marked out for me.

Like my friend said, "It was not too late nor too slow. It was all in God's timing." I couldn't agree more. It was in God's good timing and providence that I was able to share, get an answer, understood it all, and to love Him better. He had a marvellous purpose, He orchestrate the events and He allowed me to go through it that I might know my heart and Christ better. Yea, looking back, the events that have occurred cannot be a coincidence. In fact, if it wasn't for God's hand in it, I might have gotten it worse. So thanks be to God! for He is faithful and good. Amen.

Disappointments and His plans

I don't know how to write this. The human soul is a strange thing. While I know the word of God and have came to an understanding of the situation(and have accepted it), my feelings just don't tally with what I have accepted. It is a strange mechanism that no one knows except the Lord. God met me in this morning's devotion and I cried like a baby. My, I haven't felt so good tearing like this since September last year(where God met me in Timor).

How did God meet me? We were singing, "We will give you glory...and honour. We will lift our hands to praise You. We exalt your Holy name." Can I really do this in this state? I realise I can by the grace of God. Despite my disappointment and what I'm feeling deep inside, I can still praise God. It is a song of surrender. To choose to praise Him despite my hurts. I begin to understand how some people who are suffering(much worse than me) feel when they sing such songs. What a tribute to God. What an awesome encounter of God in worship.

Having said this, I am still feeling the after-effects of the disappointment. Life's like this isn't it? But with God, it is so much more bearable, and so much more to discover that disappointments are simply steps to greater joy. This is the 2nd 'major' disappointment in the space of 2 years for me. The first is foolishness and the second is a lack of trust in Him. I told Him, "I'm ready to go any time. What's meant to be will be." But alas, my talk is not consistent with my walk. I fret, I imagine & I plan - I wasn't truly ready to go because I have not surrendered my trust to Him. It took yesterday's answer to make me realise that.

But it is also in one of my most down moments that God speak so clearly. I have not got an answer for almost 2 years. But in the midst of this episode, I have it now. He said,"You have a calling. You are going." Yes Lord, I'm truly ready to go. Bring it on.

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
Just to know "Thus saith the Lord"

Chorus:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more

O how sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to trust His cleansing blood
Just in simple faith to plunge me
'Neath the healing cleansing flood

Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus
Just from sin and self to cease
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest and joy and peace

I'm so glad I learned to trust Him
Precious Jesus, Saviour, Friend
And I know that He is with me
Will be with me to the end

Seek Me, seek not the answer.

Where are you going? What will you be doing? When are you going? Are you interested in anyone? These are familiar questions to me for the past 1 year and 9 months. The year and months do not seem very long but for a waiting person, it looks like it is going on forever. It has been a waiting journey and it is certainly tough when I'm faced with those questions again, not so much from others than myself.

Through this time of waiting, I thank God that I have learned many many things which I would not have the chance to learn had I not been back. It has been a worthwhile stretch of faith, not that it is ending anytime soon, but I have grown. But when I look at the present situation again, reality sets in. No definite answers, no definite directions. Am I losing my hearing? Am I losing my walk with God? Not at all. Am I then saying God is silent? Maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe I am just not hearing, maybe I am seeking God the wrong way. And indeed I was foolish when you look at my previous post. As I was asking God for an answer to a question, He seems to be saying, "Seek me, seek not the answer".

That was something to think about. If I seek Him with all my heart, I will find Him as Jeremiah 29:13 says. So then am I seeking God so that I will know Him more and love Him more or am I just seeking for an answer so that I can get out of my present situation? Is my focus right? There is a subtle deceitfulness of the heart in this seeking, isn't it? As I reflect upon my seeking of Him, I realise I need to seek Him as Lord, Savior and Friend. Not as some encyclopedia to provide me with answers; though He does give us answers for our lives and more than willing to do so than we thought He would. So if I seek Him with all my heart, I will find Him. And if I find Him, I will find the answers to all my questions.

O Lord, how great is your wisdom and your faithfulness! Though in my human weaknesses, I fret and imagine the worst, I know you will not fail me. If you have given your only son for me, what else will you withhold from me that which is good? No Lord, you will not let me go to the deeps of darkness without you nor will you leave me aimless and lost in a strange land. You will guide me, lead me and be my God forever. This journey will not be mine, but ours.

Father God, help me to seek you with all my heart. Give me just enough light for the next step ahead. Do not give me too much or I will go ahead of you. Do not give me too little or I might fall and blame you. Lord, guide me in what I should be doing, and if a certain relationship is meant to be. I will put my trust in You. I love you Lord. Thank you so much. Thank you for all that You are, all that You have given, and all the love you have showered upon me. I rest in You.
Love,
Your child

Seeking God? Drop all conditions, I mean ALL.

About 2 weeks ago, I was (still) seeking the Lord for directions when suddenly I realise something. I realise I had the same foolishness I had not too long ago with regards to seeking the will of God. A couple of years ago, I told God that I will go and serve anywhere except back in the corporate world. This time round, I told God I will go anywhere and no conditions, but there's a lingering plan in my heart.

The first time round, God chose not to say anything until I realise my foolishness and I told God that even if I had to go back to the corporate world, I will obey. Shortly after that point of surrender, my direction became clear and soon I was engaged in what God wants me to do. This time round, God chose not to say anything until I realise that I was as foolish as before and surrender to Him. The only difference is this time round, my condition wasn't exactly explicit, but it was a condition that has already garnered strength in my heart.

I told God I will do anything, go anywhere - I thought I had surrendered totally. But deep in my heart, I still had a lingering thought that I will just do something here for maybe a maximum of one year, preferably a few months, before going back to the field. So I prayed and asked but nothing seems to come out of my prayer. But as I was praying that day, God revealed to me my foolishness. It was a repeated 'mistake'. I had in fact a certain idea or plan on how things should work out and this to God is a form of condition; even though I had said I'll do anything and anywhere. God wants me to give Him my control of time as well, not just the kind of work and kind of place. In short, He wants my total surrender.

Thanks be to God for revealing the thoughts of my deceitful heart to me! I have learned of my foolishness once again and God has again show that He is faithful. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"~Jer 29:13. It goes to show that we are very much at times like the obstinate Israelites in the bible - making the same mistakes after learning them. But God is gracious and always teaching us. I learned once again of my human foolishness and I thank God that the way ahead is starting to get clearer.

If you are seeking God, still yourself and spend some quiet time asking the Holy Spirit to search you first of all. And you'll be amazed or should I say shock when God reveals to you the reason why you are not hearing.

"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them ~ Matt 15:16

My Jesus, I Love Thee

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign.
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I love Thee because Thou has first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree.
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death,
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.
~ William R.Featherston

Is Jesus my delight?

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" I remember telling my Doulos friends this verse from Phil 4:4 as one of my favourite verses. Not too long ago, I was feeling great and full of joy and satisfaction in my journey but things seemed a little different now. Am I moody, down and sulking now? Not at all, and though I still laugh and enjoy my days, there is something amiss. It just feel different.

Last night's reflection had shown me the answer to this seemingly 'missing' joy. I had forgotten to delight myself in the Lord. Omigosh! Have I backslide? No, I have not. So what do I mean by that? I realise I had been focusing on how to live life that I have forgotten my basis for living. My present circumstances have not been great and I feel myself losing motivation for life. I know God is trying me and stretching my faith, and I have been seeking Him for an answer, for a direction to continue on to the next phase. But not hearing nor seeing anything happening all this while does to a certain extent affect my emotion and as time goes by, the uncertainty weighs heavier and heavier.

I told myself:"I will trust in the Lord!", or so I claimed. But there is this 'heaviness" and a 'certain' joy missing from my life. Mind you, I am still enjoying life - I laugh, I play, I give thanks, I appreciate, I enjoy things, I give, I receive and I am really blessed. BUT I realise there is something missing and I realise I had 'forgotten' my basis for living life. I claim to be lacking motivation in life, but if Jesus is the basis for living an abundant life, then how could I claim otherwise? If I have delighted in Jesus and understood that life is worth the living just because He lives, then how can it be possible that I lack motivation in life?

This is indeed basic understanding revisited. Now I can sing again:"And life is worth the living just because He lives". That is the basis for that 'missing' joy in my life - i.e. to live just because Jesus lives! Isn't that great? Isn't that good enough to give me motivation in life? That is the answer to finding joy in my present circumstances. Delighting in Jesus! Giving thanks and praying to Him sure help in lifting my heaviness but that is not yet delighting in Him. To delight in Him goes beyond our thanksgiving and speaking to Him(though it is part of it). It is to adore Him, to hold Him in such awe, to finally understand that having Him alone is good enough reason for rejoicing in life. That is the basis for my living. I need no other motivation nor could I claim I lack one.

O how I delight in You Lord! How can I not rejoice in life?

¡Feliz Cumpleaños!

"Dr.O gave his life to Jesus some months ago and was baptized recently!" my Brazilian friend shared the news with delight. Wow! I'm amazed, and I felt so happy. I'm so grateful that God had touched Dr.O and helped him believe in Jesus, even though his new status meant that many of his friends shunned him.

Thinking back, meeting Dr.O in East Timor has been such a 'divine appointment' from God. I was then having acute pain in my lower right abdomen and was advised to seek medical treatment in case it is appendicitis. My nurse friend contacted Dr.O and told J. and I to seek help from him. When we found him, he had just recovered from dengue fever but proceeded anyway to diagnose my case and gave me treatment and follow-up instructions(he did not even charge me for the medication!). I was very grateful for his kindness and arranged to treat him to a dinner at my place. When J. and I found out about his birthday, we decided to surprise him with a birthday cake.

He was really thrilled on that day as we sang him a birthday song and celebrate his birthday over dinner. We also had a short time of sharing and got to know Dr.O better - even though I had to get J. to translate his Spanish to Portuguese and to English for me to understand. Some time later, we got to know that he had never had such a birthday celebration before and that he was very touched by it.

Fast forward to today, Dr.O had given his life to Jesus and find real meaning and joy. He'll be leaving Timor soon and going back to his dear country. I never knew that that birthday celebration had meant so much to him and that it had brought forth a wonderful friendship between him and J. and finally led him to discover Jesus for himself. Birthday celebration is such a common affair to us that we have taken it for granted. But for another person like Dr.O, it had brought him closer to knowing Christ and it did finally. Ah, what a wonderful God we have. And what a wonderful new birthday for Dr.O in the Kingdom of God.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" and "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven" - Gal 6:9, Matt 5:16

¡Feliz Cumpleaños! = Happy Birthday in Spanish

Another year is dawning

Here's an excellent poem on a new year with the Lord.

Another year is dawning;
dear Father, let it be,
In working or in waiting,
another year with thee.

Another year of progress,
another year of praise,
Another year of proving
Thy presence all the days.

Another year of service,
of witness for thy love;
Another year of training
for holier work above.

Another year is dawning;
dear Father, let it be,
On earth, or else in heaven,
another year for thee.

~ Francis Ridley Havergal