Is it possible to be in a mode of desperation everyday? How would it feel like to be desperate for the souls of the lost everyday? I really don't know. Am I desperate enough? I wouldn't think so. As much as it is subjective, looking at myself, I do not see a desperate Christian in anguish of many souls. Sure, I pray for my family and friends to be saved. Yes, I've invited friends to church. Ok, I've led a few persons to Christ directly or indirectly in a year. But to be desperate for souls is a different thing.
I am not desperate. I am just like any 'ordinary' Christian that is growing in the Lord. Don't get me wrong, that is good. But I believe the more excellent way is to be desperate. Can I humanly conjure up desperation? Yes, maybe for a while but human efforts will never last. Only God can give godly desperation and I need to be desperate for such a desperation.
This means changing many things in my lifestyle - it's a huge challenge but a possible one if I were to surrender over and over again. Am I ready now? I don't think so. I can only pray that God will continue to be patient with me and mold me into a desperate mould.
Excepts from "Why God Used D. L. Moody" - by R. A. Torrey (http://www.wholesomewords.org/biography/biomoody6.html)
"Mr. Moody made the resolution, shortly after he himself was saved, that he would never let twenty-four hours pass over his head without speaking to at least one person about his soul. His was a very busy life, and sometimes he would forget his resolution until the last hour, and sometimes he would get out of bed, dress, go out and talk to someone about his soul in order that he might not let one day pass without having definitely told at least one of his fellow-mortals about his need and the Savior who could meet it."
I can read on and on about the exploits of D.L.Moody, how he preached the gospel to at least one person a day and how many of them were saved. But I do not only want to read and feel good. I want to be part of the story. I do not want to share the gospel only a few times a year. Can it be every day? Yes, with the help of God.
"Lord, help me be desperate for lost souls. Send me to them and them to me. May their souls be saved. Amen"
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Monday, July 02, 2007
Thank God for friends
Sometimes, it is easy for us to take our friends for granted. While I was in Cambodia, I began to see how much friends need each other. I imagined what I will become if I'm in my colleague's shoes; alone in HVPV and with huge amount of tasks and issues I face everyday. Will I snap? Thank God for friends.
It was no mean feat trying to juggle operation tasks, projects tasks and staff and children issues everyday. It was already very difficult for two persons(my colleague and I); I can imagine one person handling all the stuffs. Thank God for friends.
Are you thanking God for your friends and appreciating them today? Or do you remember them only when a need arise? Thank God for friends.
It was no mean feat trying to juggle operation tasks, projects tasks and staff and children issues everyday. It was already very difficult for two persons(my colleague and I); I can imagine one person handling all the stuffs. Thank God for friends.
Are you thanking God for your friends and appreciating them today? Or do you remember them only when a need arise? Thank God for friends.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
God's Wonderful Grace
I'm amazed by God's provision and timing. A few days ago, after a time of prayer, I felt part of the reason why we are having problems is because of unforgiveness and animosity that the staff have against each other. That when we have unforgiveness and division, the devil have a greater leeway of wrecking havoc in other aspects of the community. - "If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand" Mark 3:25
The problems that were happening were also a warning from the Lord that we had to do something about it. But what? We couldn't possibly orchestrate a session of reconciliation. That would be too unnatural. So all we can do is to pray this prayer, "Lord, we know there is a need for reconciliation. We pray that you will provide this opportunity. We don't know how, but we know you will do it." - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5
Frankly speaking, I have no idea how it's going to happen or when it's going to happen. I can only trust Him that somehow, He will do it. I thought perhaps it may take a while as I couldn't see any such opportunities coming anytime soon (logically speaking). But God knows it's urgent and He answered our prayers. A team came and their itinerary was changed because of some issues. And because of that, an opportunity for reconciliation came about and many hearts were ministered to. I can't help but marvel at His grace. That His grace is sufficient. That His grace has - "work all things together for good to those who love God, to those who have been called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28
And finally, I remembered one more thing that the Lord spoke to me during the prayer time. "My grace is sufficient for thee"~2Cor 12:9 Amen.
The problems that were happening were also a warning from the Lord that we had to do something about it. But what? We couldn't possibly orchestrate a session of reconciliation. That would be too unnatural. So all we can do is to pray this prayer, "Lord, we know there is a need for reconciliation. We pray that you will provide this opportunity. We don't know how, but we know you will do it." - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" Proverbs 3:5
Frankly speaking, I have no idea how it's going to happen or when it's going to happen. I can only trust Him that somehow, He will do it. I thought perhaps it may take a while as I couldn't see any such opportunities coming anytime soon (logically speaking). But God knows it's urgent and He answered our prayers. A team came and their itinerary was changed because of some issues. And because of that, an opportunity for reconciliation came about and many hearts were ministered to. I can't help but marvel at His grace. That His grace is sufficient. That His grace has - "work all things together for good to those who love God, to those who have been called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28
And finally, I remembered one more thing that the Lord spoke to me during the prayer time. "My grace is sufficient for thee"~2Cor 12:9 Amen.
Victory in Christ
Praise the Lord!!! The cloud of darkness was lifted as God triumphs once again. The past 2 weeks have really been tough as we were bombarded with problems one after another almost consecutively. This is also the first time I had to counsel some children in HVPV and perhaps for the first time, I kind of understood what my ex-colleague meant when she said that things can get emotionally draining in HVPV. I wasn't really emotionally drained but more like I didn't want to do some of the things like interrogation, scolding, digging out the truth etc; at least not so often and certainly not one after another.
I remembered my pastor once said, "Sometimes, it seems that evil has triumph and God does allow that in some situations. But those moments of darkness are shortlived because finally, God will show His glory and triumph once again." This reminds me of the darkness that seems to have won when Christ was crucified. But that seemingly triumph by the evil one was crushed when Christ rose from the dead in triumph, defeating the evil one resoundly. It is no wonder we can find peace and joy in the midst of tough times. That is because God triumphs finally and our victory is assured because of Him. Glory to God.
I remembered my pastor once said, "Sometimes, it seems that evil has triumph and God does allow that in some situations. But those moments of darkness are shortlived because finally, God will show His glory and triumph once again." This reminds me of the darkness that seems to have won when Christ was crucified. But that seemingly triumph by the evil one was crushed when Christ rose from the dead in triumph, defeating the evil one resoundly. It is no wonder we can find peace and joy in the midst of tough times. That is because God triumphs finally and our victory is assured because of Him. Glory to God.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Don't lose your Purpose and Passion
"How can I pray for you?" I asked my friend over MSN. Since my previous blog post, I have received 3 opportunities to pray for my friends over MSN and it was wonderful to be able to encourage them through such prayers. It was also no coincidence that my friends are at a stage where they are seeking God and getting a little bit confused at the moment. The common word is "Bored", plus others like "Confused, Depressed". It is frightening to know that we can lose our passion when we do not have a purpose and direction in our lives.
What is more frightening is that we fail to understand and see the purpose that God has already given us in a particular season of our lives, especially in a season of waiting and moulding. We can be actively serving in our church and even be working as a full time church staff but when we fail to understand God's purpose for us, we are in danger of losing our passion. And this will get us discouraged and sucked into a world of passionless service.
What is your purpose? What is your passion? Is it worshipping God through joyful acts of service and the way you live your life? Even if you do not have a passion in what you are doing right now, do you still have a passion for God? You must look to God, and not the things you are doing. You may dislike the things you are doing now, but God has allowed or even ordained such a time as this. Therefore, be passionate about what you are doing, not because you like it(you may not) but because you are passionate for God and you want to glofify Him in all that you do. That is your purpose - to worship Him, to glorify Him in all that you do, and in all that you are. Be passionate for Him.
"Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervour, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction and faithful in prayer." Romans 12:11-12
Saturday, April 28, 2007
How can I pray for you?
When I was in Cambodia, I hosted a team for a few days and met this great guy in the team. What's so great about this guy? Here's why. Just the other day, I spoke to him via MSN and he asked me, "How can I pray for you?" wow. I am really humbled by these words. This guy knew me for only a few days and he's not in my church or lifegroup. But he sincerely prayed for me via MSN.
Through this, I gain a deeper insight into what body life really is. It goes beyond our own churches, lifegroups, organizations and even how much you know the other person. The thing is his focus. His focus is on the needs of the other person, and his focus is prayer. If I were to talk to someone, the "how can I pray for you?" would normally not cross my mind but for him, it is so natural and I think this is important. This should and has to be natural for us as Christians, as brothers and sisters in Christ, who cares for each other and wants to pray for each other. It is really a great lesson learnt and I am really humbled. I hope I'll be more mindful the next time I have an opportunity to ask, "How can I pray for you?"
Through this, I gain a deeper insight into what body life really is. It goes beyond our own churches, lifegroups, organizations and even how much you know the other person. The thing is his focus. His focus is on the needs of the other person, and his focus is prayer. If I were to talk to someone, the "how can I pray for you?" would normally not cross my mind but for him, it is so natural and I think this is important. This should and has to be natural for us as Christians, as brothers and sisters in Christ, who cares for each other and wants to pray for each other. It is really a great lesson learnt and I am really humbled. I hope I'll be more mindful the next time I have an opportunity to ask, "How can I pray for you?"
Friday, April 27, 2007
Disappointed? No, I chose to give thanks
Maybe it is because we have had too much that we often complain. Perhaps you're not one but I must admit I do complain every now and then, even if my complaint is just a passing remark. I remembered I complained about being cheated of a few dollars in Siem Reap, Cambodia when the motor taxis tried to increase their rates every now and then with some excuses. To this complaint, God says, "hey, you have the priviledge to tour Angkor Wat and is able to afford the transportation and accomodation cost for this holiday. Shouldn't you be giving thanks?" Yes, Lord. Sorry for complaining. I will give thanks instead, because I am so blessed and that is the truth.
On my return to Singapore for my PR renewal for another 5 years, the officer said that the immigration dept. can only give me one year. Was I disappointed? Kind of, as I was hoping for 5 years and hence do not have to travel back now and then from my mission field. Strange enough, the officer told me about the criteria and chances of getting 5 years which I was not told in my last year's application. They normally don't say a thing about criteria. And as if to convey a message from God to me, she smiled and said, "See you again next year". Ok Lord, are you telling me something? But this time, no complains. I give thanks for another year of PR status.
This morning I was told that maybe I might not be heading back to Timor after all. 'Strange' enough, I was not very disappointed. A little, yes, as I was hoping to meet some friends and also get my stuffs back. Other than that, I was pretty much emotionless and just take it as it is. I think God has prepared me for this in the one year renewal process, which is to say, "Whatever it is Lord, have Your way. You know best. And in this, I can give thanks."
Nothing too big to complain about and nothing too great to be disappointed about. In each situation, we can always give thanks and trust that our ever loving God will steer us in the right direction. What we expect might not be what He wants for us and when expectations are not met, disappointements can arise. But if our expectation is:"Lord, You do it Your way. I just follow", then disappointments need not arise because you know that your present circumstances is what God has allowed and you'll find peace and joy instead.
I'm not exactly bouncing with joy now :) but I am very sure God has everything in His hands and He will direct my paths. And anyway, nothing is confirmed yet so I might still be heading down to Timor. So I "give thanks in all my circumstances for this is God's will for me in Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonian 5:18. Give thanks and cheer up folks! :)
On my return to Singapore for my PR renewal for another 5 years, the officer said that the immigration dept. can only give me one year. Was I disappointed? Kind of, as I was hoping for 5 years and hence do not have to travel back now and then from my mission field. Strange enough, the officer told me about the criteria and chances of getting 5 years which I was not told in my last year's application. They normally don't say a thing about criteria. And as if to convey a message from God to me, she smiled and said, "See you again next year". Ok Lord, are you telling me something? But this time, no complains. I give thanks for another year of PR status.
This morning I was told that maybe I might not be heading back to Timor after all. 'Strange' enough, I was not very disappointed. A little, yes, as I was hoping to meet some friends and also get my stuffs back. Other than that, I was pretty much emotionless and just take it as it is. I think God has prepared me for this in the one year renewal process, which is to say, "Whatever it is Lord, have Your way. You know best. And in this, I can give thanks."
Nothing too big to complain about and nothing too great to be disappointed about. In each situation, we can always give thanks and trust that our ever loving God will steer us in the right direction. What we expect might not be what He wants for us and when expectations are not met, disappointements can arise. But if our expectation is:"Lord, You do it Your way. I just follow", then disappointments need not arise because you know that your present circumstances is what God has allowed and you'll find peace and joy instead.
I'm not exactly bouncing with joy now :) but I am very sure God has everything in His hands and He will direct my paths. And anyway, nothing is confirmed yet so I might still be heading down to Timor. So I "give thanks in all my circumstances for this is God's will for me in Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonian 5:18. Give thanks and cheer up folks! :)
"I want something better, what's wrong?"
I am now reading a book called "Good News to the Poor - Sharing the gospel through social involvement" by Tim Chester and I have learnt a lot from it and many things have set me thinking. Just the other day, I was reading a portion on consumerism and something struck me.
I was getting a little dissatisfied with my D70 DSLR camera recently because of its metering and white balance processing and I was thinking of getting a newer camera. Even the compact cameras these days metered better than my D70(except the lens I have is better). So I was busy shopping for a possible camera to replace my D70 and I didn't even balk at the price (1.4k onwards). I was basically obsessed with the idea of getting it and thinking of ways to reduce the cost until reality struck. Isn't it too much to spend that amount of money on another camera?(when I already had one!!!) Won't that money be better used for future endeavours in missions or some form of work among the poor? I haven't though of that untill I read the portion of the book on consumerism and I snapped back to my new self; not the old selfish self that was crucified on the cross. That old selfish self craves for personal pleasure and wants to feed the lust of the eye - I see, I want, I covet. I was convicted immediately and repented. All along, I thought I was contented with many things but even then, there are loopholes that need to be guarded and I thank God for showing me my weakness. To get the better camera now would be unthinkable.
Excerpt from the book:John Calvin condems 'obstentious banquets, bodily apparel and domestic architecture'-what we would call fancy dinner parties, designer gear and an obsession with home improvements. "All these things are defended under the pretext of Christian freedom", he continues. 'They say that these are things indifferent. I admit it, provided they are used indifferently. But when they are coveted too greedily, when they are proudly boasted of, when they are lavishly squandered, things that were of themselves otherwise lawful are certainly defiled by these vices'
Some stats: 1.3 billion people live on less than one US dollar a day - about 1.50 Singapore dollar, 2.6 billion people lack basic sanitation and 1.2 billion do not have adequate housing. Over 20,000 children die evey day of diseases we could prevent. So the next time you say, "I want something better than this. What's wrong?(in buying it)", look at the statistics above and you know something is very wrong.
I was getting a little dissatisfied with my D70 DSLR camera recently because of its metering and white balance processing and I was thinking of getting a newer camera. Even the compact cameras these days metered better than my D70(except the lens I have is better). So I was busy shopping for a possible camera to replace my D70 and I didn't even balk at the price (1.4k onwards). I was basically obsessed with the idea of getting it and thinking of ways to reduce the cost until reality struck. Isn't it too much to spend that amount of money on another camera?(when I already had one!!!) Won't that money be better used for future endeavours in missions or some form of work among the poor? I haven't though of that untill I read the portion of the book on consumerism and I snapped back to my new self; not the old selfish self that was crucified on the cross. That old selfish self craves for personal pleasure and wants to feed the lust of the eye - I see, I want, I covet. I was convicted immediately and repented. All along, I thought I was contented with many things but even then, there are loopholes that need to be guarded and I thank God for showing me my weakness. To get the better camera now would be unthinkable.
Excerpt from the book:John Calvin condems 'obstentious banquets, bodily apparel and domestic architecture'-what we would call fancy dinner parties, designer gear and an obsession with home improvements. "All these things are defended under the pretext of Christian freedom", he continues. 'They say that these are things indifferent. I admit it, provided they are used indifferently. But when they are coveted too greedily, when they are proudly boasted of, when they are lavishly squandered, things that were of themselves otherwise lawful are certainly defiled by these vices'
Some stats: 1.3 billion people live on less than one US dollar a day - about 1.50 Singapore dollar, 2.6 billion people lack basic sanitation and 1.2 billion do not have adequate housing. Over 20,000 children die evey day of diseases we could prevent. So the next time you say, "I want something better than this. What's wrong?(in buying it)", look at the statistics above and you know something is very wrong.
Saturday, April 07, 2007
It all started with Giving
You went to a place for holidays and someone you hardly know paid for your hotel. On top of that, your transport to the place and back was paid for and to top it off, you even received some cash after your holidays! Sounds crazy? Yes it does and it happened to me. I am really 'blown away' by God's generosity.
The Lord of Host challenge us in Malachi 3:10, "Test me in this(i.e. giving) and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it". Having you been tithing? Challenge yourself to up the 10%. A pastor once told me about what happened to him when he increase his tithing after becoming convinced that he should give more than the starting 10%. And he lived in more exciting days ever since.
I have also heard many stories from many different people about God's amazing providence too. And I am sure these people are not stingy with God. Why? Cos His word is always true - "Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously." ~ 2 Cor 9:6. Events in life gets tastier as each one unfolds the truth of God and when I look back, I understood certain truths more. "At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need" ~ 2 Cor 8:14. Generosity can only be practiced, and that's how you experience the floods of blessing that God is talking about and the joy that comes with it. That is why it is written in Acts 20:35- "It is more blessed to give than to receive". It is not to say receiving is bad. But that in first, giving, we are more blessed because the receiving that comes after that means so much more than just receiving and not giving. For example, you give some money to a needy family. You may not receive your money back but when you see the joy in their hearts, don't you receive that joy too? :) But without the giving, there is no real blessed receiving.
I'll end with John Wesley's famous relevant-till-today quote:
"Earn all you can
Save all you can
Give all you can"
Happy Easter!
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life" ~ John 3:16
The Lord of Host challenge us in Malachi 3:10, "Test me in this(i.e. giving) and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it". Having you been tithing? Challenge yourself to up the 10%. A pastor once told me about what happened to him when he increase his tithing after becoming convinced that he should give more than the starting 10%. And he lived in more exciting days ever since.
I have also heard many stories from many different people about God's amazing providence too. And I am sure these people are not stingy with God. Why? Cos His word is always true - "Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously." ~ 2 Cor 9:6. Events in life gets tastier as each one unfolds the truth of God and when I look back, I understood certain truths more. "At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need" ~ 2 Cor 8:14. Generosity can only be practiced, and that's how you experience the floods of blessing that God is talking about and the joy that comes with it. That is why it is written in Acts 20:35- "It is more blessed to give than to receive". It is not to say receiving is bad. But that in first, giving, we are more blessed because the receiving that comes after that means so much more than just receiving and not giving. For example, you give some money to a needy family. You may not receive your money back but when you see the joy in their hearts, don't you receive that joy too? :) But without the giving, there is no real blessed receiving.
I'll end with John Wesley's famous relevant-till-today quote:
"Earn all you can
Save all you can
Give all you can"
Happy Easter!
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life" ~ John 3:16
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Excitement
"Wah, you are really emotionless!", so said many who knew me and have seen my reaction to supposedly exciting events. Going abroad to somewhere, joining a ship, having various opportunties to work with something new were some of the things that might excite many but to me, it is just like any other day. Don't get me wrong - I am contented and happy, but my heart will not be racing and feeling a sudden rush of adrenaline that will make me want to burst out. That's excitement. It has now been almost a year since I last felt some form of excitement and today, I got my emotion back(for those of you who claimed I am emotionless :> ).
You must have guess it right. East Timor is on the map again and that's not all. Before I was informed of the upcoming plan to visit it, I had felt in my heart that I should visit it sometime soon too. Ever since I left Timor, I have been praying to return/visit but have not felt this way although my friend had encouraged me to visit Timor sometime last year. It was only recently that I felt I should/must go back to see the country again and visit some folks there. And what a wonderful 'confirmation' it is when I was informed of the visitation plan. Alas, the excitment only lasted a few seconds. So until I step foot on Timor soil again and smell it, you can say I am emotionless :)
You must have guess it right. East Timor is on the map again and that's not all. Before I was informed of the upcoming plan to visit it, I had felt in my heart that I should visit it sometime soon too. Ever since I left Timor, I have been praying to return/visit but have not felt this way although my friend had encouraged me to visit Timor sometime last year. It was only recently that I felt I should/must go back to see the country again and visit some folks there. And what a wonderful 'confirmation' it is when I was informed of the visitation plan. Alas, the excitment only lasted a few seconds. So until I step foot on Timor soil again and smell it, you can say I am emotionless :)
Monday, March 12, 2007
Old Self & Timely Wisdom
If you think Primary 1 children are adorable, you are right and sometimes, it is hard to imagine what little monsters they can be. Two very interesting thing happened to me a week ago and I am once again reminded of 2 things. No.1 - I am reminded of how human I am and how my very own human nature behaves. No.2 - When there's a right action to take, just do it. The wisdom to handle it will come from God.
Here's the story. We had a computer class for the P1 and one of the boys was punished by my colleague. He was stopped from using the computer until he behaves himself but he didn't and continued disturbing the girl next to him. I hit his hands but he still tried to mess up the girl's typing so I raised my voice at him and grabbed him, intending to make him stand in front of the class. He began talking away(it sounded more like a defence than a protest) and he held on to the pillar. I took his hands and legs off the pillar but the little fella kept talking and held on to the pillar again for dear life. Ok, I thought there must be something in those words and asked for translation. It turned out that all he wanted was to sit in another PC because he dislike the girl, and that is why he refused to do his work and disturb the other girl.
I was stunned by this 'bizzare' reason and situation and I didn't know what to do. So my very unrighteous human nature took over and I asked my colleague what he'll do. "So how? What do you think?", pretending to know-it-all and make him feel that I am testing him in classroom management. He looked at me uneasily and you know that he does not know what to do. The old-self-me asked him a second time, hoping that I can get away with this sticky situation but his reaction is still the same. Come to think of it, if I were him, I would expect the "smarter" foreigner(who's supposed to teach me "everything") to make the right decision.
So the chips fall back to me - should I allow the boy to sit on another PC as requested or not? Time is ticking away and I can't be staring blankly back at my colleague, can I? In a split second, as if given instructions by another person to relay a message, I told the boy that if he wants to sit on another PC, he must behave himself and not talk. These words also came out, "If you're nice to us, then we will also be nice to you. But if you're naughty, then you are not nice to us and we will also not be nice to you. You understand?" He nodded his head and said yes to everything but I wondered whether he really agreed or just conveniently said 'yes' to get out of the situation. He was also angry and upset at the same time. Anyway, I think that he really understood it all when he said goodbye and thankyou to me in the Khmer way(both hands clasp together like when we're praying) at the end of the class. (Not many from his class did that) And by the way, the word 'nice' is used because it is easiest for them to understand and good for 'children talk'.
After lunch, I saw the boy again and he was all smiles to me, and we talked a little bit in my limited Khmer and his limited English. I really thank God that He gave me the wisdom to handle that difficult situation and how He showed me how vunerable we can be in moments of "danger". That the ugly side of us will rear its head out again in these moments but it is indeed a good reminder of how frail we are. And how we must continuously seek God for help in our weaknesses and do away with more of our flesh.
Ask Him for Wisdom - James 1:5
Put off the old self and put on the new self - Ephesian 4:22-24
Here's the story. We had a computer class for the P1 and one of the boys was punished by my colleague. He was stopped from using the computer until he behaves himself but he didn't and continued disturbing the girl next to him. I hit his hands but he still tried to mess up the girl's typing so I raised my voice at him and grabbed him, intending to make him stand in front of the class. He began talking away(it sounded more like a defence than a protest) and he held on to the pillar. I took his hands and legs off the pillar but the little fella kept talking and held on to the pillar again for dear life. Ok, I thought there must be something in those words and asked for translation. It turned out that all he wanted was to sit in another PC because he dislike the girl, and that is why he refused to do his work and disturb the other girl.
I was stunned by this 'bizzare' reason and situation and I didn't know what to do. So my very unrighteous human nature took over and I asked my colleague what he'll do. "So how? What do you think?", pretending to know-it-all and make him feel that I am testing him in classroom management. He looked at me uneasily and you know that he does not know what to do. The old-self-me asked him a second time, hoping that I can get away with this sticky situation but his reaction is still the same. Come to think of it, if I were him, I would expect the "smarter" foreigner(who's supposed to teach me "everything") to make the right decision.
So the chips fall back to me - should I allow the boy to sit on another PC as requested or not? Time is ticking away and I can't be staring blankly back at my colleague, can I? In a split second, as if given instructions by another person to relay a message, I told the boy that if he wants to sit on another PC, he must behave himself and not talk. These words also came out, "If you're nice to us, then we will also be nice to you. But if you're naughty, then you are not nice to us and we will also not be nice to you. You understand?" He nodded his head and said yes to everything but I wondered whether he really agreed or just conveniently said 'yes' to get out of the situation. He was also angry and upset at the same time. Anyway, I think that he really understood it all when he said goodbye and thankyou to me in the Khmer way(both hands clasp together like when we're praying) at the end of the class. (Not many from his class did that) And by the way, the word 'nice' is used because it is easiest for them to understand and good for 'children talk'.
After lunch, I saw the boy again and he was all smiles to me, and we talked a little bit in my limited Khmer and his limited English. I really thank God that He gave me the wisdom to handle that difficult situation and how He showed me how vunerable we can be in moments of "danger". That the ugly side of us will rear its head out again in these moments but it is indeed a good reminder of how frail we are. And how we must continuously seek God for help in our weaknesses and do away with more of our flesh.
Ask Him for Wisdom - James 1:5
Put off the old self and put on the new self - Ephesian 4:22-24
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Give due credit and respect
Ever heard of this 'catch' phrase we foreigners often use when we are in a third world country? "Oh, we must EMPOWER the locals. Must teach them this and that and EMPOWER them." Let me clarify. I have nothing against imparting knowledge and skills, and I certainly think it is good to help the local people to learn certain skills that will enable them to do certain things independently. But sometimes, we are so conditioned in our minds about our "superiority" as a foreigner that we don't even realise that sometimes we belittle the locals. We always talk a lot about helping them to gain confidence and be independent but our words sometimes suggest otherwise. I have this Khmer staff working with me on computers and the picture painted to him is that I am some sort of rocket scientist that will 'impart' to him all my skills and know-how. I got to work with him once before I officially joined the team and I noticed that he knows his computer stuffs well and he has a natural analytical mind that is very good for computers. It is true that there are stuffs I know which he doesn't but he already knows quite a fair bit and that's quite something for a person without a formal computer education and who started off working as a security guard!
It's the afternoon and the "encouraging" words rang loud and clear again in the office and I could see the cleverly concealed embarrassed look on his face. Well, I sincerely believe those words are really meant to encourage him but it is put in such a way that it doesn't sound like it, at least not to an adult. Maybe a child will think of it as an encouragement to learn but to me, it really sound like belittlement. Perhaps the person trying to encourage him do not know where his computer skills level is at but still, that cannot be an excuse for being insensitive. I happen to hear something similar in 3 different occasions and each time, I can see that his head is slightly bowed, as if to agree that he knows next to nothing. It is no wonder why some local people never rise up. And that's because we still treat them like little children, not trusting them to do a good job and not giving them room for failures so that they can learn. Let us treat them as adults and not little children, and give them respect and credit where it is due. Phil 2:3
It's the afternoon and the "encouraging" words rang loud and clear again in the office and I could see the cleverly concealed embarrassed look on his face. Well, I sincerely believe those words are really meant to encourage him but it is put in such a way that it doesn't sound like it, at least not to an adult. Maybe a child will think of it as an encouragement to learn but to me, it really sound like belittlement. Perhaps the person trying to encourage him do not know where his computer skills level is at but still, that cannot be an excuse for being insensitive. I happen to hear something similar in 3 different occasions and each time, I can see that his head is slightly bowed, as if to agree that he knows next to nothing. It is no wonder why some local people never rise up. And that's because we still treat them like little children, not trusting them to do a good job and not giving them room for failures so that they can learn. Let us treat them as adults and not little children, and give them respect and credit where it is due. Phil 2:3
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
'Exotic' Cambodia Food
Being a foodie, I'm always game for different kinds of food and Cambodia have some very interesting ones. The famous 'exotic' food in Cambodia are fried spiders. They are bbq to a crisp with a sauce that taste like teriyaki and they don't taste too bad. 
Then I had the bbq snake and it contains some kind of goo which tasted odd but edible.
Next on the menu is stuffed frogs. Some kind of beef ball mix is stuffed into the tiny frog's body and bbq to a crisp.
Then there's also half-grown duck eggs similar to the Phillipines' 'Baluk'. You cracked the top part of the shell and drink the 'soup' that is inside the egg and it's actually quite tasty. Looking into the egg may spoil your appetite so just scoop whatever is inside and eat it. Otherwise the sight of the half-grown duckling's head and feathers might put you off.
Last but not least, I tried the local Palm 'juice'. It's some kind of juice that is extracted from the branch/stem of the palm tree and sold on the streets. I suspect this caused my first week's food poisoning when i was offered by the locals the drink. Other than that, I have had no problems with outside food and their wonderful lime sugar cane thus far. Bon appetit.
Then I had the bbq snake and it contains some kind of goo which tasted odd but edible. 
Next on the menu is stuffed frogs. Some kind of beef ball mix is stuffed into the tiny frog's body and bbq to a crisp. 
Then there's also half-grown duck eggs similar to the Phillipines' 'Baluk'. You cracked the top part of the shell and drink the 'soup' that is inside the egg and it's actually quite tasty. Looking into the egg may spoil your appetite so just scoop whatever is inside and eat it. Otherwise the sight of the half-grown duckling's head and feathers might put you off. 
Last but not least, I tried the local Palm 'juice'. It's some kind of juice that is extracted from the branch/stem of the palm tree and sold on the streets. I suspect this caused my first week's food poisoning when i was offered by the locals the drink. Other than that, I have had no problems with outside food and their wonderful lime sugar cane thus far. Bon appetit.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
"Back" to Cambodia
During my waiting days, as I was seeking God for directions, I saw a vision of a photograph of myself with smiling children in a poor village. The children had darker skin tones and I thought to myself, "Lord, who are these children and where is this place?" My first thought was Cambodia. I did not know many countries with children that looked like those in the vision and I thought Cambodia seems very likely. Some time later, I realised that those children could be East Timor children as I went to East Timor. Cambodia by then was far away in my mind as my heart sank roots in East Timor. Little did I know that the Lord would provide me an opportunity to go to Cambodia, the destination I first thought of.
What a priviledge. I am so grateful to God for this opportunity to learn, to serve and to grow in love for Him and His ppl. Hey ppl, if you think that sacrificing to serve God in the missions field is a big thing, it really is not. I would not even consider it a sacrifice although it does cost me certain things. I say this not to boast nor to feel good with a 'false humility' pretension. No, I am able to say this because God prepared me to give, and I can give each time because He first gave. I can 'sacrifice' because He first sacrificed - for you and for me. Serving in missions do not require you to be a full time worker, but a full time Christian. If your heart so desires, He will see that desire which pleases Him and He will send you to the field. It could be long term or short term but it does not matter. What matters is that you have gone out to love others, and you have pleased Him with your heart.
What a priviledge. I am so grateful to God for this opportunity to learn, to serve and to grow in love for Him and His ppl. Hey ppl, if you think that sacrificing to serve God in the missions field is a big thing, it really is not. I would not even consider it a sacrifice although it does cost me certain things. I say this not to boast nor to feel good with a 'false humility' pretension. No, I am able to say this because God prepared me to give, and I can give each time because He first gave. I can 'sacrifice' because He first sacrificed - for you and for me. Serving in missions do not require you to be a full time worker, but a full time Christian. If your heart so desires, He will see that desire which pleases Him and He will send you to the field. It could be long term or short term but it does not matter. What matters is that you have gone out to love others, and you have pleased Him with your heart.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
About Timor - Why wait?
A few days ago, I was crying out to God and asking how long more do I have to be away from East Timor. I can sense the pain of the people and I can see their faces and my heart was broken. God spoke to my heart. "I've shown you the land and you have been there and tasted it. But now I have drawn you out for a time of training. And I want you to pray and cry out for this land." Having lived there and seen what Timor is like, I certainly was able to pray more specifically. And not able to go back at the moment makes my heart sick and the more I longed to be back, the more fervent I prayed for the land. Come to think of it, it does not seem unreasonable for God to take me out so that I may developed a deeper hunger to intercede for East Timor. It is a time of conditioning - to condition in me an attitude of intercession for the land; whether I'm away or not. As I looked back at the time I spent in Timor, I could honestly say that I have not spend as much time praying for Timor then as I am now and I was certainly not as serious in my prayers for Timor when I was there than now. Praise God for this revelation.
During these few days, I have also been presented with opportunities to go back to East Timor. I have now 3 opportunities to go back to East Timor and all I had to do is say "Yes" to the 'invitations' and I'll be back to my homeland. I was wondering why these opportunties pop up in quick succession and suddenly, God spoke to my heart. "Son, look at all these opportunities I have shown you. If I want you to be back in Timor, you will be back. All I had to do is snap my fingers and thousands of doors will be opened to you. Do not worry about open doors and how you will be going back. When the time comes, you will be back." How true this is. God is showing me His power in this and teaching me to trust Him more.
I'm not sure why but I sense something powerful will happen when I go back to East Timor after I have undergo my training in Cambodia and also in Singapore; having learnt a lot more about the art of waiting, praying and seeking His face. This is indeed a season of conditioning my spiritual 'muscles' and training for what is ahead. I can sense the excitement in me and I rejoice in this waiting period of my life. As one of my friends said, "Waiting time is never wasted time". Amen.
During these few days, I have also been presented with opportunities to go back to East Timor. I have now 3 opportunities to go back to East Timor and all I had to do is say "Yes" to the 'invitations' and I'll be back to my homeland. I was wondering why these opportunties pop up in quick succession and suddenly, God spoke to my heart. "Son, look at all these opportunities I have shown you. If I want you to be back in Timor, you will be back. All I had to do is snap my fingers and thousands of doors will be opened to you. Do not worry about open doors and how you will be going back. When the time comes, you will be back." How true this is. God is showing me His power in this and teaching me to trust Him more.
I'm not sure why but I sense something powerful will happen when I go back to East Timor after I have undergo my training in Cambodia and also in Singapore; having learnt a lot more about the art of waiting, praying and seeking His face. This is indeed a season of conditioning my spiritual 'muscles' and training for what is ahead. I can sense the excitement in me and I rejoice in this waiting period of my life. As one of my friends said, "Waiting time is never wasted time". Amen.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
A Bitter Taste of Disappointment and a Surge of Uncontainable Joy
Yesterday, I had a taste of what disappointment is. It is not like I have not tasted disappointment before but this one somehow hit it right in my heart and carried such a weight. It's like when you discovered something you do not expect and totally shocking to you and you found it hard to swallow because the expectations changed so drastically.
I must say that it has done me good because now I get to taste its bitternest and understand a bit more of what my friend, H, went through. I mean, sometimes, we don't want that kind of feeling, do we? It is heavy, weighs you down and make you feel so 'sian' and moody, doesn't it? But God gave us emotions for a purpose and when disappointment comes, we taste and feel the same heavy heart.
But if there is one thing that is different, it will be how we react to it. It was tough for me and it will be unnatural(and also impossible) to suppress it by my own human strength. It just will not go away everytime you think of it. So will the method of not thinking about it help? To a certain extent yes but that emotion still creeps up even when I don't think of it. The only thing I know will help me is going to God, talking to Him and finding rest in His presence.
So I went to the nearby park and spend time praying to God, asking Him "why? Why God? Tell me pls" And God understood but He did not utter a word. I am sure He is also pained to see me feeling this way but it has to happen for a good reason and a learning process for me. So I kept asking and He kept looking in silence. Then when I finally stopped, God spoke to me, "My son, you have to keep praying and wait." Ok God, that is not really an aswer per se but well, I knew you are dealing with me so I humbly accept the fact that I will have to go through the grind.
I thought I will take some time to recover from this disappointment but today, God healed me. It is a miracle. I have not experience such quick recovery emotionally before. I have a good time of fellowship with my friends in the morning and as I was going back to work in the afternoon, I suddenly felt a surge of joy welling in my heart. Suddenly, my heart was bursting with joy! I was smiling away and was beaming like a fool and I felt so light all of a sudden. The disappointment with its heavy baggage disappeared as quickly as it had came. This 'supernatural' joy lasted for a few minutes and when it was all over, I felt 'normal' again, as if the disappointment had not cause any damage at all to my emotional state. But i knew it was God who gave me that joy and healed me. I don't know what had caused Him to pour His favour over me in this matter and the only thing I could think of is this:- That He was pleased that I ran into His presence with my prayers and petitions. And that I accepted the matter that had happened and was willing to put this matter into His hands and let Him have His way in me.
Don't get me wrong. I am not putting this as a formula or saying that if we do this, then our pain will go away quickly. We know that God is good, just and sovereign and do as He pleases because He knew what is best. But sometimes, don't we get more burdened by the disappointments we have by not going to Him in total surrender and humility? Don't we get more upset by not accepting that the matter is in His hands and that it is still ultimately good for us? Don't we sometimes prolonged our own suffering by not trusting that God will heal and restore us and close the matter for us In His time and in His ways? if i were to struggle to find an answer to my disappointment on my own, I would become more miserable and totally missed out on what God wants to do in my life. I thank God He showed me why I had to go through this. And I thank Him very much for that special joy and speedy recovery. I believe what He had done for me today, He can also do for you too. Run into His presence today.
Oh, what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry,
everything to God in prayer
~ Portion of the song, What a Friend we have in Jesus
I must say that it has done me good because now I get to taste its bitternest and understand a bit more of what my friend, H, went through. I mean, sometimes, we don't want that kind of feeling, do we? It is heavy, weighs you down and make you feel so 'sian' and moody, doesn't it? But God gave us emotions for a purpose and when disappointment comes, we taste and feel the same heavy heart.
But if there is one thing that is different, it will be how we react to it. It was tough for me and it will be unnatural(and also impossible) to suppress it by my own human strength. It just will not go away everytime you think of it. So will the method of not thinking about it help? To a certain extent yes but that emotion still creeps up even when I don't think of it. The only thing I know will help me is going to God, talking to Him and finding rest in His presence.
So I went to the nearby park and spend time praying to God, asking Him "why? Why God? Tell me pls" And God understood but He did not utter a word. I am sure He is also pained to see me feeling this way but it has to happen for a good reason and a learning process for me. So I kept asking and He kept looking in silence. Then when I finally stopped, God spoke to me, "My son, you have to keep praying and wait." Ok God, that is not really an aswer per se but well, I knew you are dealing with me so I humbly accept the fact that I will have to go through the grind.
I thought I will take some time to recover from this disappointment but today, God healed me. It is a miracle. I have not experience such quick recovery emotionally before. I have a good time of fellowship with my friends in the morning and as I was going back to work in the afternoon, I suddenly felt a surge of joy welling in my heart. Suddenly, my heart was bursting with joy! I was smiling away and was beaming like a fool and I felt so light all of a sudden. The disappointment with its heavy baggage disappeared as quickly as it had came. This 'supernatural' joy lasted for a few minutes and when it was all over, I felt 'normal' again, as if the disappointment had not cause any damage at all to my emotional state. But i knew it was God who gave me that joy and healed me. I don't know what had caused Him to pour His favour over me in this matter and the only thing I could think of is this:- That He was pleased that I ran into His presence with my prayers and petitions. And that I accepted the matter that had happened and was willing to put this matter into His hands and let Him have His way in me.
Don't get me wrong. I am not putting this as a formula or saying that if we do this, then our pain will go away quickly. We know that God is good, just and sovereign and do as He pleases because He knew what is best. But sometimes, don't we get more burdened by the disappointments we have by not going to Him in total surrender and humility? Don't we get more upset by not accepting that the matter is in His hands and that it is still ultimately good for us? Don't we sometimes prolonged our own suffering by not trusting that God will heal and restore us and close the matter for us In His time and in His ways? if i were to struggle to find an answer to my disappointment on my own, I would become more miserable and totally missed out on what God wants to do in my life. I thank God He showed me why I had to go through this. And I thank Him very much for that special joy and speedy recovery. I believe what He had done for me today, He can also do for you too. Run into His presence today.
Oh, what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry,
everything to God in prayer
~ Portion of the song, What a Friend we have in Jesus
Thursday, October 26, 2006
How about her?
On my way to the Bishan Mrt every morning, I will pass by this old lady selling tissue. I've never spoken to her before because I was in a rush everytime and God spoke to me one day, "How about her?" Ouch.
So i met this lady today and bought a pack of tissue from her and talk to her. She spoke to me in Mandarin and then(I don't know why), she talked to me in cantonese which makes it even easier to 'click'. She already had 2 operations because of her cancer and now she had to raise money for a third one. That is why she's selling tissue.
"What to do?", she said. "The amount of money I received from the welfare organisation is only enough for my flat rental and everyday usage. Cancer medication is not cheap and nowdays, if you do not have money, it's bye bye Singapore." I also found out that she's a Christian, but sadly, a disappointed one.
She was saved because a pastor had mercy on her and paid for her medical debts and led her to Christ. She was then about to commit suicide when her friend refrained her and introduce her to the pastor. Sadly, she is now fending for herself. "Ya. They pray for me but when it comes to money, no one will help", she replied when I asked whether her friends have prayed for her for healing. Is this the church today?
Look around you and ask yourself. When is the last time you have treated a poorer friend or stranger to a meal? When is the last time you have given money to a more needy person in church or in your circle of friends? We have missed out a lot. We forgot that there are poor ppl in Singapore. We fail to see that the person sitting next to you in church is a poor person who needed help. We hoard our money and find out what is the best investment and fixed deposit interest when our treasures are actually in heaven and the best 'investment' are to the poor.
As we all know, different churches have different approaches when it comes to welfare and sometimes, certain ppl don't "qualify" for help. But how about on a personal level? Surely as an individual, we can do a lot. The church comprises of ppl, you and me, who can help the needy. Please, don't take on the mindset of "Oh, I pay tithe you know. The church should be the one paying for this person's welfare wat", "The church have a welfare system right? Let the person 'settle' with the church on his case" and with these excuses, we avoid our responsibility to the poor. Let's take away the mindset of always depending on the church(as an organisation) to do every single thing. We don't have to wait for another evangelistic service or program to evangelise, and we don't need to wait for another 'love campaign' to give to the poor. Let's do what we ought to do as an individual - preaching the good news, giving to the poor, loving each other. After all, is not the church us?
Coming back to the lady. "Do you attend church nowadays?" I asked. "Not really. I don't feel like going these days", she replied. We chatted a while more and before I left, I gave her some money and tell her it's for her to "buy food"(It's the polite cantonese way of giving someone money) And she said,"Oh. Thank you so much. God bless you" and I replied, "God bless you too". Jesus is still in her heart, but I pray that she can experience the fullness of Him through our acts of kindness. My friends, Jesus is speaking to you today, "How about her, how about him?"
Monday, October 23, 2006
Personal Soul Winning
Ephesians 4:16 - "From Him, the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work"
Often, we said, "Oh, we must be united!" And many times we meant it, but our actions do not show it. We agree among ourselves, called ourselves like-minded and thought that we are one in spirit and purpose(Phil 2:2), BUT this unity we proclaimed has no real meaing unless each of us play our part in doing God's work. There are many works we can do but I want to highlight one of the most important one to you and that is preaching the gospel.
Preaching the gospel requires no special 'calling' or titles or status. If there is any thing that we can all play our part in, it is sharing the gospel. Isn't it wonderful if our unity is seen or recognised by the world because each one of us share the gospel to them in various ways and in different places? If you read on from chapter 4:16, you will hit chapter 5:15-16 where God tells us to make the most of every opportunities that we have.
In previous postings, I've shared how I met people on the streets (mostly poor people), became friends with them and shared the love of God with them. This "phenomena" happened to me while I was in East Timor. Every month without fail, I will bump into a stranger on the street or somewhere, and I will get a chance to share Jesus with them. I keep praying for such opportunities and these occurences have not stopped since then. I thought this is something awesome(maybe because we seldom hear of something like this in our community) but when I read that someone does this EVERYDAY, it blows my mind. Reading the story of how D.L.Moody will not rest until he shares Jesus with one soul a day did not discourage me. I'm encouraged by my once-a-month endeavour where God helped me to bother to talk to the poorer and lesser reached soul on the street but to do it everyday is a real challenge. Yes, it is a tall order but not one that is impossible. And I think we all should strive towards it.
So how do we strive towards this everyday personal evangelism lifestyle? Start by praying? Yes, but don't stop at praying. Be aware of the opportunities around you, grab them, share your testimony, do an act of kindness, preach the gospel. R.A Torrey said, "The best way to learn how to do it is to do it." I want to encourage you to read this article called "The Importance of Personal Soul Winning" by R.A. Torrey. It's at http://www.swordofthelord.com/archives/ImportanceSoulWinning.htm
You will see in there that we can all play our part in winning souls on a personal basis, and the effect of such works can have a greater impact than events like gospel rallies, healing crusades etc. God bless you and the souls around you.
Often, we said, "Oh, we must be united!" And many times we meant it, but our actions do not show it. We agree among ourselves, called ourselves like-minded and thought that we are one in spirit and purpose(Phil 2:2), BUT this unity we proclaimed has no real meaing unless each of us play our part in doing God's work. There are many works we can do but I want to highlight one of the most important one to you and that is preaching the gospel.
Preaching the gospel requires no special 'calling' or titles or status. If there is any thing that we can all play our part in, it is sharing the gospel. Isn't it wonderful if our unity is seen or recognised by the world because each one of us share the gospel to them in various ways and in different places? If you read on from chapter 4:16, you will hit chapter 5:15-16 where God tells us to make the most of every opportunities that we have.
In previous postings, I've shared how I met people on the streets (mostly poor people), became friends with them and shared the love of God with them. This "phenomena" happened to me while I was in East Timor. Every month without fail, I will bump into a stranger on the street or somewhere, and I will get a chance to share Jesus with them. I keep praying for such opportunities and these occurences have not stopped since then. I thought this is something awesome(maybe because we seldom hear of something like this in our community) but when I read that someone does this EVERYDAY, it blows my mind. Reading the story of how D.L.Moody will not rest until he shares Jesus with one soul a day did not discourage me. I'm encouraged by my once-a-month endeavour where God helped me to bother to talk to the poorer and lesser reached soul on the street but to do it everyday is a real challenge. Yes, it is a tall order but not one that is impossible. And I think we all should strive towards it.
So how do we strive towards this everyday personal evangelism lifestyle? Start by praying? Yes, but don't stop at praying. Be aware of the opportunities around you, grab them, share your testimony, do an act of kindness, preach the gospel. R.A Torrey said, "The best way to learn how to do it is to do it." I want to encourage you to read this article called "The Importance of Personal Soul Winning" by R.A. Torrey. It's at http://www.swordofthelord.com/archives/ImportanceSoulWinning.htm
You will see in there that we can all play our part in winning souls on a personal basis, and the effect of such works can have a greater impact than events like gospel rallies, healing crusades etc. God bless you and the souls around you.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
How could I pass her by?
"Excuse me, can you give me one dollar? I am hungry and I don't have money to buy food", the unkempt lady looked at me with wide, dazed eyes.
This is not the first time I have encountered ppl on the streets asking for money and my response these days is to offer them food instead of money. I would not want someone to take the money and buy themselves cigarettes or alcoholic drinks.
She replied,"Oh, I want to go somewhere there to buy rice." to which I replied, "It's okay. I will follow you there to buy you the food". And she pleaded again, "Please, I just need one dollar. Can you give me one dollar?" I knew then that she's not going to use the money to buy food and I said sorry and moved on.
As I was praying back home, I thought about the lady and realised how indifferent I was to her situation. Why didn't I spend a little more time talking to her? Yes, she is smelly and dirty and kept asking for that dollar but was not I like this once? Did not God pick me up and wash me and cleanse me when I was dirty and stinking with sin in my life? How could I let this person walked on in life without a saviour, without a friend and without hope?
My heart broke and I burst out in tears. This lady does not need another dollar!!! She needs the gospel and I failed to give her what she rightfully deserves. It is only a dollar! If my one dollar can be used as a means to spark a conversation that enables her to hear the good news of Jesus Christ, isn't that dollar worth it all? Even if she were to reject accepting Christ later and used that dollar for a puff, could not the seed that was planted in her heart bloom one day? Oh, how narrow I was and how shallow I am!!! I thought I had made the right choice by not giving her the dollar, but I did not make the best choice to give her the treasures in heaven.
How could I pass her by? How could I when Christ did not pass me by? May the Lord have mercy on me and help me to stretch out my hands beyond my own comfort to a world of poor, dirty, smelly and dying souls.
"Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!!!" 1 Cor 9:16
This is not the first time I have encountered ppl on the streets asking for money and my response these days is to offer them food instead of money. I would not want someone to take the money and buy themselves cigarettes or alcoholic drinks.
She replied,"Oh, I want to go somewhere there to buy rice." to which I replied, "It's okay. I will follow you there to buy you the food". And she pleaded again, "Please, I just need one dollar. Can you give me one dollar?" I knew then that she's not going to use the money to buy food and I said sorry and moved on.
As I was praying back home, I thought about the lady and realised how indifferent I was to her situation. Why didn't I spend a little more time talking to her? Yes, she is smelly and dirty and kept asking for that dollar but was not I like this once? Did not God pick me up and wash me and cleanse me when I was dirty and stinking with sin in my life? How could I let this person walked on in life without a saviour, without a friend and without hope?
My heart broke and I burst out in tears. This lady does not need another dollar!!! She needs the gospel and I failed to give her what she rightfully deserves. It is only a dollar! If my one dollar can be used as a means to spark a conversation that enables her to hear the good news of Jesus Christ, isn't that dollar worth it all? Even if she were to reject accepting Christ later and used that dollar for a puff, could not the seed that was planted in her heart bloom one day? Oh, how narrow I was and how shallow I am!!! I thought I had made the right choice by not giving her the dollar, but I did not make the best choice to give her the treasures in heaven.
How could I pass her by? How could I when Christ did not pass me by? May the Lord have mercy on me and help me to stretch out my hands beyond my own comfort to a world of poor, dirty, smelly and dying souls.
"Woe to me if I do not preach the gospel!!!" 1 Cor 9:16
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Renewal of the mind
I was told to be sensitive, and rightly so in a place where most people believe in B and may be offended if we share. However, that instruction became a mindblock to me, mainly because I have not understood what it really meant. So my mind got boxed up and I became too cautious. That changed when I got to know Rev.A. In a space of 3-4 days, he brought 2 persons to the Lord and when we were with him, another 4 were brought to the Lord. I was baffled. I asked him, "how/what did you share?". He replied "After we finished the tour, I asked her, are you a Christian?" and then he proceed to share the gospel - sin, forgiveness, acceptance, love, Lord and Saviour.
That direct approach blew my mind and made me realise that I have boxed myself up and have unconsciously blocked the work of the Spirit. We have to be sensitive, yes, but we have to realise and understand that there are times when we have to be bold and take risk, especially when we know there is a need for the person to hear the gospel. God can melt all sensitivity, God can bridge any hostility, God is God of all things - we all know that, don't we? So why then did I allow such a thing to block my mind? Aha, the dependancy of human wisdom and logic than the dependancy of God. Not that I purposely depend on my own understanding and thinking, but it can come so subtlely and unconsciously, doesn't it? And often, this reveal the truth about yourself; the condition of the deep inner self. I was glad God changed me in this aspect and I was able to share with the love of Christ to someone who have never heard the gospel before. It's awesome.
That direct approach blew my mind and made me realise that I have boxed myself up and have unconsciously blocked the work of the Spirit. We have to be sensitive, yes, but we have to realise and understand that there are times when we have to be bold and take risk, especially when we know there is a need for the person to hear the gospel. God can melt all sensitivity, God can bridge any hostility, God is God of all things - we all know that, don't we? So why then did I allow such a thing to block my mind? Aha, the dependancy of human wisdom and logic than the dependancy of God. Not that I purposely depend on my own understanding and thinking, but it can come so subtlely and unconsciously, doesn't it? And often, this reveal the truth about yourself; the condition of the deep inner self. I was glad God changed me in this aspect and I was able to share with the love of Christ to someone who have never heard the gospel before. It's awesome.
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