Is this love? Thoughts on 1 Cor 13:4-7

Someone preached about love using 1 Cor 13:4-7 and it sounded really nice and encouraging. While I know the preacher preached with all good intention to get people to love each other, I can't help but wonder, "Is that all to it about Love in the Bible?"

Love when explained using 1 Cor 13:4-7 always seem to dictate that it must evoke nice feelings and positivism. It is kind, it is patient, it is not rude etc.  What if I describe love is tough, love is disciplining, love is speaking the painful truth, love is exposing sin? Will I be called a heretic or a hater?

I really wonder if 1 Cor 13:4-7 is one of the most narrow and misapplied meaning of love in the Bible. It seems to me many well-intentioned preachers seem to preach it without any regard for the context of 1 Corinthians. If love is as described by 1 Cor 13:4-7 alone, I wonder what do we make out of Hebrews 12:5-6 when God said that He disciplines those He loves and punishes everyone He accepts as a son.

Love is patient - is God impatient so that he disciplines? Love is kind - is God unkind to punish? Love is not easily angered - is God too quick to be angry and punishes? Love keeps no record of wrongs - so why did God remember the wrongs and discipline the person? What I am trying to say is we must not preach a love that is always nice and lovey dovey simply by quoting 1 Cor 13:4-7, and telling everyone that we must show the kind of love like in 1 Cor 13:4-7 and make everyone feel good otherwise you're a bad Christian who is unloving.

Rather, we must take into account the other side of love as well. A love that is tough love. A love that dares to risk one's own life (reputation, relationships, possessions, misunderstood, physical life) for the sake of the other person; i.e. Love is self-sacrificial. A love that dares to right the wrong to protect and help others at the expense of being persecuted or misunderstood; i.e. Love is upholding justice courageously. A love that dares to discipline for the good of the person and body even if it may be painful; i.e. Love is discipline in truth.

I will not be quoting Bible verses for the above. I believe there are "proof-text" verses if you're looking for tough love "definitions". But I'll rather you see the life of Jesus and the apostles to see how their love include this tough aspect of it too.

So fellow sojourners who quotes and preaches 1 Cor 13:4-7 to share about love, please do not forget the other side of it. Otherwise, what you're really preaching is not the true love found in the Word; a wholistic love that is both lovey dovey AND tough. So if you're still wondering why your church is struggling to love, I would say most likely it is because they have skewed to either extremes and not abiding in the love that is found in Christ Jesus - a lovey dovey, full of grace, tough and full of truth love. God bless you.