The Ravages of Sin

Visiting a hospice always bring one into confrontation with death; but more so, with the ravages of sin. The once strong able body has been reduced to skin and bones. The once cheery and lively demeanor has been reduced to tired eyes and silence.

The curse of sin is eating up everything. And the only comfort one can find is the afterlife. Jesus promised all those who believe in him will no longer suffer when they give up this feeble body. They will be with him in paradise and will have a new body-one that will never rot, grow old or crumple.

May all those who are taking care of the terminally ill and elderly sick find hope in Jesus; for he had conquered death, rose from the dead and will come again to bring all who are his into eternal bliss.

Hope for the Downtrodden

"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:9-10

Yes Lord, you have NEVER forsaken those who seek you. You are their stronghold in times of trouble and they will trust you because they know you. Thank you Lord for being our refuge.

Death, Hope and Christ

Two deaths in a week. One, an elderly man, and the other in his 50s.

No one can fathom death - it does not announce the time to go, it can happen to anyone, it can be unexpected, it does not state its reason.

One moment he is talking, and the next moment he is no more. Are not "our days like grass? Like a flower of the field where the wind blows over it and it is gone?"(Ps 103:15-16)

If our citizenship is not in heaven, we would have lost all hope. But praise be to our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ who have gone ahead of us to prepare a place for us in heaven. (Phil 3:20; John 14:2)

And so even though death does always bring pain while we're still here, we know that death's pain do not last forever because we have a great hope in Jesus Christ. That one day we shall meet our Lord and Saviour face to face, and also all those we've missed on earth because they have gone ahead of us.

"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"
- 1 Cor 15:55

It is no more because of Jesus Christ. For "neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Rom 8:38-39

Yes. His love endures forever - over pain, over grief, over death. His love endures forever. (Ps 118:1)

May the peace of God be with those who are grieving now, and may the hope found in Christ strengthen them and comfort them. His love endures forever. Amen.

One Child at a Time

Sometimes, we need a reminder.

A New Year Means...

A New Year means.... there will again be decisions to be made. Come to think of it, a new year isn't very much different from the past year. If we were to look at life as a whole, a new year really means 'nothing' because if the calendar does not exist, there will be no such thing as a new year.

A new year always seem to give new hope and new strength because I think there is certainly something 'new' about a new year. But in actual fact, there is really not much of a difference because your life continues from the past year till now - time doesn't stop for you. Your unresolved problems from the past year creeps into the new and whatever you inherited from the past comes into the new automatically - because there isn't really a 'new' year.

So what am I trying to say? Well, I just want to say that our lives continue to live on and everyday is still a 'brand new' journey with the Lord. The past comes into the present: there are still processes to work through, decisions to be made, joy to savour and pain to endure.

I am just glad that I have made a wise decision - however it might be 'unpleasant'. A wise decision always taste good; if not now, then at least later. So freedom in Christ is not about being free from pain. It is the freedom to choose the most excellent choice, and after the choice, to feel so much free-er and at rest.

So what does the new year holds for you? Another 'routine' year? Or a year of growth in maturity, character and a deeper love for God? Do what you need to do since 'last' year, seek what you need to seek since 'last' year and learn what you need to learn since 'last' year. The year continues on - whether old or new, past or present. Live for Him today. Today IS the New Year.

"This is the day which the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it" ~ Psalm 118:24

Sadness, Discouragement and Hope

Emotions is a mystery. It's a gift from God, yet it can be abused and tear us down. Some people say I am emotionless - that would be furthest from the truth. I think I appear emotionless because I figure certain things are not worth getting emotional about. Oh, but I do tear when I feel for something worth tearing. And sometimes, emotion is not something you and I can control.

So it happened before a certain meeting that I was feeling discouraged. That is quite strange because that discouragement appeared out of nowhere. Thank God for group prayers that releases God's word to encourage and affirm. But what do I understand from this? One thing's for sure: The devil is on the prowl.

It is very sad that close friendships are being torn apart by careless words and mistrust. 10 over years of friendship could not withstand the enemy's lie? Oh God. We need your eyes. It is very sad that when people act out of goodwill, they get lambasted for 'taking sides'; and when they try to cool situations down by giving space, they got accused of being uncaring. It is even sadder that genuine friendships built over the years would self-destruct because of a change of place or status. Can a change of place or status wipe off the memories of a friendship that once had so much life and fun? No!

So what am I ranting about down here? I'm talking about hope. "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us" ~ Romans 5:3-5

Yes, hope keeps us going. This hope that does not disappoint us keep us going. Who have sadness and yet I don't? Who have discouragements and hurts and yet your friends don't? You are not the only one my friend.

A friend's baby died before the baby see daylight. Does it hurt? A friend gave up his dream of going to the field by staying for another 2 years. Does it hurt? A friend suffers at work and yet go about diligently doing her work. Does it hurt? Oh yes it does. And we are not alone in this hurting world. But we have a Hope.

Hope for the day when a new-born baby shall walk and talk. Hope for the day when the field will be imprinted with footprints that bring good news. Hope for the day when the rewards will not be earthly rewards but heavenly rewards for those found faithful.

I am sad and discouraged with what is happening. But yet I will not break. Why? Because I have a hope. And hope will not disappoint me. Because my hope is in Him who has poured out his love for me. You are not alone. Hope in God, and live.

God knows

Quotes:
"For a servant of God to have authority in every sentence he utters, he must first suffer for the message he is to deliver. Without great tribulation, there is no great illumination." — John Sung, 20th-century Chinese evangelist

"The future is as bright as the promises of God." — Adoniram Judson, (1788-1850)

God knows. Trials come for a purpose. Have you forgotten James 1:2-4? Do not think you are weak when you refuse to go against the tide. Let God take charge. He knows. In His time, He will reveal. In His time, He will pave the way. Listen to Him and you will know what to do.

Do not think you are alone. For great men and women of God face such dilemmas too. Learn from them. Look at William Carey, Hudson Taylor, Jackie Pullinger and many others. Times of long waiting, lack of understanding from churches, criticism of 'radical' approaches such as dressing like the natives, problems with an ineffective mission board, application rejected by every missionary organization. What else is new under the sun?

Look to God my friend. Listen to Him and remember His words.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Cor 12:10

"From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do." - Isaiah 46:11

God is BIG enough. He knows.

God of the Impossible - Watch Him Defy Your Odds

I felt a certain sense of peace even in the midst of this uncertainty. What's it gonna be? For 2 years in a row, I have been given only a one year renewal for my PR re-entry permit. The norm is 5 years. Logically, I would say I still lack the criteria for a 5 years renewal but somehow, it felt different this time. My LG and friends were roped in to pray and God had answered our prayers. I had been given 5 years! This time no questions asked, no higher-ranked officer handling my case and the renewal process finished within 10 minutes. How's that for a hallelujah to God? Yes! Praise His mighty name!

God is just so good. He knows how much this renewal meant to me, and He has given me the first step. I can go anyway up to 5 years without having to return - that is really really going to be helpful in my work. As I sat waiting for my turn in the renewal process and reading my bible, these verses reminded me of His goodness:

"For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor;
no good thing does he withhold
from those whose walk is blameless.
O LORD Almighty,
blessed is the man who trusts in you." ~ Psalm 84:11-12

Impossible you say? "For nothing is impossible with God" - Luke 1:37. And He showed up again today. What an awesome God I serve. Just gotta trust and obey. He'll work all things out. Yes, He will.

Disappointments and His plans

I don't know how to write this. The human soul is a strange thing. While I know the word of God and have came to an understanding of the situation(and have accepted it), my feelings just don't tally with what I have accepted. It is a strange mechanism that no one knows except the Lord. God met me in this morning's devotion and I cried like a baby. My, I haven't felt so good tearing like this since September last year(where God met me in Timor).

How did God meet me? We were singing, "We will give you glory...and honour. We will lift our hands to praise You. We exalt your Holy name." Can I really do this in this state? I realise I can by the grace of God. Despite my disappointment and what I'm feeling deep inside, I can still praise God. It is a song of surrender. To choose to praise Him despite my hurts. I begin to understand how some people who are suffering(much worse than me) feel when they sing such songs. What a tribute to God. What an awesome encounter of God in worship.

Having said this, I am still feeling the after-effects of the disappointment. Life's like this isn't it? But with God, it is so much more bearable, and so much more to discover that disappointments are simply steps to greater joy. This is the 2nd 'major' disappointment in the space of 2 years for me. The first is foolishness and the second is a lack of trust in Him. I told Him, "I'm ready to go any time. What's meant to be will be." But alas, my talk is not consistent with my walk. I fret, I imagine & I plan - I wasn't truly ready to go because I have not surrendered my trust to Him. It took yesterday's answer to make me realise that.

But it is also in one of my most down moments that God speak so clearly. I have not got an answer for almost 2 years. But in the midst of this episode, I have it now. He said,"You have a calling. You are going." Yes Lord, I'm truly ready to go. Bring it on.

Disappointed? No, I chose to give thanks

Maybe it is because we have had too much that we often complain. Perhaps you're not one but I must admit I do complain every now and then, even if my complaint is just a passing remark. I remembered I complained about being cheated of a few dollars in Siem Reap, Cambodia when the motor taxis tried to increase their rates every now and then with some excuses. To this complaint, God says, "hey, you have the priviledge to tour Angkor Wat and is able to afford the transportation and accomodation cost for this holiday. Shouldn't you be giving thanks?" Yes, Lord. Sorry for complaining. I will give thanks instead, because I am so blessed and that is the truth.

On my return to Singapore for my PR renewal for another 5 years, the officer said that the immigration dept. can only give me one year. Was I disappointed? Kind of, as I was hoping for 5 years and hence do not have to travel back now and then from my mission field. Strange enough, the officer told me about the criteria and chances of getting 5 years which I was not told in my last year's application. They normally don't say a thing about criteria. And as if to convey a message from God to me, she smiled and said, "See you again next year". Ok Lord, are you telling me something? But this time, no complains. I give thanks for another year of PR status.

This morning I was told that maybe I might not be heading back to Timor after all. 'Strange' enough, I was not very disappointed. A little, yes, as I was hoping to meet some friends and also get my stuffs back. Other than that, I was pretty much emotionless and just take it as it is. I think God has prepared me for this in the one year renewal process, which is to say, "Whatever it is Lord, have Your way. You know best. And in this, I can give thanks."

Nothing too big to complain about and nothing too great to be disappointed about. In each situation, we can always give thanks and trust that our ever loving God will steer us in the right direction. What we expect might not be what He wants for us and when expectations are not met, disappointements can arise. But if our expectation is:"Lord, You do it Your way. I just follow", then disappointments need not arise because you know that your present circumstances is what God has allowed and you'll find peace and joy instead.

I'm not exactly bouncing with joy now :) but I am very sure God has everything in His hands and He will direct my paths. And anyway, nothing is confirmed yet so I might still be heading down to Timor. So I "give thanks in all my circumstances for this is God's will for me in Christ Jesus" 1 Thessalonian 5:18. Give thanks and cheer up folks! :)

End of the Timor Road?

Yeap, my volunteer contract with WV had been terminated as the youth centre project has been closed indefinitely. It's strange that I felt as if a bombshell had been dropped on me but perhaps as a human, I still do have some emotion after all. Perhaps in s split second, I felt as if my tenure in East Timor is over. Is that true? Coming back to my senses, I slapped myself up and draw my assurances from God again. Of cos it's not true my stint in East Timor is over - as long as God had not say so. My friend's email from East Timor is very encouraging as she said there are plenty of work to be done there. So what is the next step? Go hunt for a volunteer job? No, I still believe that I have to continue to pray for directions till God show me the way, confirm it and send me. Praise God that there are plenty of opportunities in Timor, and even Ps Jonathan's visit to S'pore is no coincidence. It all linked again. Perhaps it's going to be a fresh start to a new thing in East Timor for me, or a temporary stopover for me in S'pore for further training & equipping and then to go back. Though my emotions sometimes roar like the raging sea when I felt so helpless(in that I cannot be there right now to be with the ppl), but in God's presence I can find my rest and in His grace I can draw strength. No way will I let my emotions get the better of me. I will choose to praise Him and shed all my tears in prayer.

"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God" ~ Psalm 42:11

When the doors seem closed

I must say this is one of the most trying time of my life. When I looked back, I knew God had prepared me for such a time. It's a growth process and there's no shortcut. There were at least 3 occasions in my life where things are uncertain and each time, the uncertainty grew bigger. I was wondering whether I had made the correct decision to resign and go to Tungling bible college when God reassured me on the first day that it was correct. I was wondering what I will be doing after Tungling when Ps Ben suggest me teaching Nigel with an intensive program and I did it. I was wondering what I will be doing after finishing my stint with Nigel when God opened the door for full time tuition. And still, I was wondering what I will be doing when God told me to stop tuition and later realised that He had opened the door for me to go East Timor by the year end of '05.

And now, I am away from East Timor and wondering where I will be heading next. Why do I say it is tougher this time? In the past uncertainties, I had nothing in mind so there was nothing really to struggle with when God says 'Go there' or 'Do this'. This time it is different. I have been to East Timor and found my place there. My heart beats for it. Somehow, you just know that that is THE place for you. But now I am away and as the days trickled by, there appears to be less and less hope of going back at this moment. There is no reply from the other side. There is yet to be a hint or direction from God about going back now. Am I losing hope of returning? I am a little now. Humans can't help it and I'm one. But I will not despair.

When the doors seem closed
When the doors seem closed, it is only but for a time
For a season of meaning and for a timely reason of moulding
When the doors seem closed, it is only but for a time
For my God knows best, and in Him I will surely rest
Why the bruised knocks? Why the loud despair?
It is only a second, It will soon come to an end
When the doors seem closed, it is only but for a time
When the doors finally open, I will enter in great delight

By Jason