I have just read through the book of Numbers and I wonder to myself, "My goodness, the Israelites are certainly fond of complaining! They complain just about everything!" Then as if the book suddenly became a mirror by itself, I asked, "How different am I from them? Maybe not very much."
It is so easy to complain, and often, we feel so shiok* after complaining. Complaining in itself is not something bad or sinful. There were times when complains are good and valid, and there were times when complains are not good, and even sinful. The Bible has examples for both.
What I want to say is that more often than not, complains tend to form a negative 'cloud' with the people we're complaining with. So instead of helping you to let off steam, it actually makes you more negative and angry over the person you're complaining about.
If you're in such an environment (work, school or family), you will notice that slowly, but surely, your joy is being sapped away. Even though you have every right to justify your complains, and tell yourself that you're not bitter about the person, your joy will just be suck away because your thoughts are always in a complain mood.
It is no wonder Paul tells us to think of "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy."(Phil 4:8) That is a process of renewing the mind.
A couple of days ago, I was reading a book called "Love is a Verb" by Gary Chapman and there was a story inside about a married couple in trouble. The wife was so upset with the husband that one day she listed down all his faults. But she also listed his qualities that first attracted her to him and she found that his qualities were more than his faults. She did the same for herself and found that she has more faults than him and realized that she needs to get herself right first before pointing the finger.
So what she did was that she kept a list of her husband's good qualities in her purse and read it daily and then weekly. She also work on her negative traits.
She said, "Surprisingly, I soon gained new respect for my husband and my love returned richer than ever. As I changed for the better, Duane treated me with renewed love and respect and his criticism ceased."
So I thought, well, let me try. So I wrote down a list of the good qualities of a certain someone that I do not particularly like. Let me tell you that it was hard trying to pen down good qualities of the person but it was worth a try.
I would not say there is instant renewal of the mind but that exercise was good. It was good to be reminded of someone's good qualities, and not always think about the bad ones which makes you want to start complaining(and sometimes can't stop). It was good to be reminded that you are not much better in the sense that you have faults as much as another person has. This humbles the proud soul. And finally, it was good to have joy returned to you, and to remind you to be grateful for everything that you have, including the person who irritates you(and in the process, moulds you in your character).
So my dear friends, what you dwell on does matter. Try the exercise of writing down a list of the good qualities of the person you do not like most, and remind yourself daily of the qualities. Try it and tell me what happens. God bless.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Thursday, July 07, 2011
Is the tissue uncle my neighbour?
It has been a while since I last spoke to a tissue auntie. As much as I can say that I've not seen one in recent times, I can't help noticing 2 tissue-selling uncles near my workplace. But it's just noticing; no action taken.
One can't help noticing the 2 uncles selling tissues and snacks like Pocky sticks in an area where you will pass by for lunch almost everyday. So here I whizz by, pass by, walk by, stride by; nothing happens. I figure Jesus could have used my name in place of the priest and the Levite in the parable of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). There were also times when I told himself, “I’m not in the ‘mood’” or “I’m tired”; excuses that were far too easy to make. But I would have cringed if Jesus were to tell blind Bartimaeus (Mk 10:46-52) that he was not “in the mood” to heal him; especially when Bartimaeus was shouting and crying, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
So I think enough is enough. Let's talk. Let's be a good neighbour. The 1st uncle sells his ware on a motorised wheelchair. He came all the way down from Woodlands because business was poor in that area. He is a nice, quiet man who is bilingual and the most striking phrase from him was, "What to do? I need to earn a living." Selling tissue and Pocky sticks was certainly not below his dignity. But it must have been tough.
The 2nd uncle stations himself along a walkway to Tan Tock Seng Hospital. And you can't miss him. He has a plastic tubing attached near his chest and he keeps crying out, “Brothers, Sisters, please help me. I need to go for kidney dialysis. Please help me.”* His story is more heart-wrenching, and I believe that he is not alone in Singapore.
Besides having to go for kidney dialysis, he has heart problems and diabetes. NKF would not take him because of his heart problem so he had to go for dialysis at a private centre (Novena Medical Centre) as his condition requires a doctor to be around. When asked if there were help from the government, he said they would only help if he is willing to sell his 3-room flat and rent from HDB. It will be easy for us to say, “Sell the flat”, but few would understand that having your own roof over your head is a matter of security and dignity. Few would opt to sell unless it’s a life-and-death matter.
He has 2 young children, 12 and 14 years old, and his wife is currently hospitalised at TTSH after going through surgery for breast cancer. He is semi-blind because of diabetes and currently earns his living through selling tissues.
Yes, we may ask ourselves if his story is true. But how many of us would bother to first, get to know him as a friend, and second, to verify his account over the course of knowing him as a friend. Few of us would dare do this. Why? Because by then, you cannot say, “I don’t know.”
If there is any lesson to take home besides the sobering wake-up call of not loving my neighbour, it is the closing phrase of the tissue uncle. His parting words to me as I bid him goodbye was “谢谢你。 感恩，感恩。”** I wonder if I would say “感恩” too if I were in his situation.
May we be a grateful people, and good neighbours bearing the good news of Jesus Christ.
* Not exact quote. Paraphrased.
** Xie Xie Ni. Gan En. Gan En. translated as "Thank you. I give thanks. (I'm grateful)" (note: I do not know if he is a Christian although "Gan En" is often used by Christians.)
One can't help noticing the 2 uncles selling tissues and snacks like Pocky sticks in an area where you will pass by for lunch almost everyday. So here I whizz by, pass by, walk by, stride by; nothing happens. I figure Jesus could have used my name in place of the priest and the Levite in the parable of the good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). There were also times when I told himself, “I’m not in the ‘mood’” or “I’m tired”; excuses that were far too easy to make. But I would have cringed if Jesus were to tell blind Bartimaeus (Mk 10:46-52) that he was not “in the mood” to heal him; especially when Bartimaeus was shouting and crying, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
So I think enough is enough. Let's talk. Let's be a good neighbour. The 1st uncle sells his ware on a motorised wheelchair. He came all the way down from Woodlands because business was poor in that area. He is a nice, quiet man who is bilingual and the most striking phrase from him was, "What to do? I need to earn a living." Selling tissue and Pocky sticks was certainly not below his dignity. But it must have been tough.
The 2nd uncle stations himself along a walkway to Tan Tock Seng Hospital. And you can't miss him. He has a plastic tubing attached near his chest and he keeps crying out, “Brothers, Sisters, please help me. I need to go for kidney dialysis. Please help me.”* His story is more heart-wrenching, and I believe that he is not alone in Singapore.
Besides having to go for kidney dialysis, he has heart problems and diabetes. NKF would not take him because of his heart problem so he had to go for dialysis at a private centre (Novena Medical Centre) as his condition requires a doctor to be around. When asked if there were help from the government, he said they would only help if he is willing to sell his 3-room flat and rent from HDB. It will be easy for us to say, “Sell the flat”, but few would understand that having your own roof over your head is a matter of security and dignity. Few would opt to sell unless it’s a life-and-death matter.
He has 2 young children, 12 and 14 years old, and his wife is currently hospitalised at TTSH after going through surgery for breast cancer. He is semi-blind because of diabetes and currently earns his living through selling tissues.
Yes, we may ask ourselves if his story is true. But how many of us would bother to first, get to know him as a friend, and second, to verify his account over the course of knowing him as a friend. Few of us would dare do this. Why? Because by then, you cannot say, “I don’t know.”
If there is any lesson to take home besides the sobering wake-up call of not loving my neighbour, it is the closing phrase of the tissue uncle. His parting words to me as I bid him goodbye was “谢谢你。 感恩，感恩。”** I wonder if I would say “感恩” too if I were in his situation.
May we be a grateful people, and good neighbours bearing the good news of Jesus Christ.
* Not exact quote. Paraphrased.
** Xie Xie Ni. Gan En. Gan En. translated as "Thank you. I give thanks. (I'm grateful)" (note: I do not know if he is a Christian although "Gan En" is often used by Christians.)
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