Oh Timor. Hau hadomi O (I love you)

Today is a busy day of packing my stuffs. This is one thing I dislike the most, i.e. having to move house. As I begin to throw away unwanted items and organize many others, I came across some unknown CDs and DVDs. One of them was written "East Timor Video 1 & 2". The words didn't ring a bell so I decided to stop my packing and watch the DVD.

It was April 27 to May 1 2006. The situation in East Timor was volatile and as the team arrived, we were caught in the middle of a riot. Houses were torched and mobs were walking around the streets with machete. We managed to turn around and went past the eastern roads before it got blocked too. We could see smoke from burning houses rising high as we drove up the hills to Bacau and Los Palos. It was a very sad sight.

The eastern part was peaceful. The medical team was able to help many Timorese and the rest of the team cheer up the villagers with balloons and songs. There were children everywhere - smiling and grinning at us as if they never knew poverty or the state the country is in. They were full of innocence, energy and life - they had so much potential, so much good in them. The video went on to challenge the audience to respond. "God has spoken. Is He speaking to you?", "Children children children everywhere. My heart cries every time I see them", "A part of me was left behind in the village when I left". As I continue to watch and remember the people, I began to wept.

I wept that we are so far off and so helpless to help. I wept that the people have only seen us, their friends only once, and perhaps never to see us again. I wept that there are so many children who will be growing up in a lost world. I wept that there are a lack of workers who will bring the good news to them that all their needs might be met. I wept that it has been almost 2 years since I last talk to a Timorese and laugh with them. I wept because God is filling my heart once again with His love for them. I just wept again and again over those faces - every single one of them, so precious in the sight of God.

"O God. How long must I tarry on? Forgive my impatience. Please send workers, even I, that your will be done. That your love will bind the wounds of the broken-hearted, and your power will set them free. Please Lord. Please Lord. Have mercy on them and on us.

My faithful God who is always near

It is strange how we naturally draw near to God in times of pain and felt Him so much closer than before. I spend more time praying, reading His word and reflecting. I began to enjoy and speak with delight His words because they meant so much more to me now as I can identify with the meanings much more than before. I felt I became 'sharper' spiritually. Am I in denial? No, I don't think so. My feelings still bother me and yesterday I thank God for a group of friends to have dinner with. Otherwise I would have felt really flat.

But why do we draw so much nearer to God and felt His closeness so much more only in times of trial? I wish in 'normal' days I am clinging on to Him as much as I am now. But each season brings a different thing and although this is a painful time, I am relishing it too because I understood a little better of people who suffered in the past. My current pain is nothing at all when compared to great missionaries and saints of the past but like I said, I understand a little better of what they felt - on how they cling on to God in times of great pain and suffering when they are struck with diseases, their children and wives passing away and various troubles. My disappointment served as an encouragement to me to walk closer to God, and to run with perseverance the race marked out for me.

Like my friend said, "It was not too late nor too slow. It was all in God's timing." I couldn't agree more. It was in God's good timing and providence that I was able to share, get an answer, understood it all, and to love Him better. He had a marvellous purpose, He orchestrate the events and He allowed me to go through it that I might know my heart and Christ better. Yea, looking back, the events that have occurred cannot be a coincidence. In fact, if it wasn't for God's hand in it, I might have gotten it worse. So thanks be to God! for He is faithful and good. Amen.

Disappointments and His plans

I don't know how to write this. The human soul is a strange thing. While I know the word of God and have came to an understanding of the situation(and have accepted it), my feelings just don't tally with what I have accepted. It is a strange mechanism that no one knows except the Lord. God met me in this morning's devotion and I cried like a baby. My, I haven't felt so good tearing like this since September last year(where God met me in Timor).

How did God meet me? We were singing, "We will give you glory...and honour. We will lift our hands to praise You. We exalt your Holy name." Can I really do this in this state? I realise I can by the grace of God. Despite my disappointment and what I'm feeling deep inside, I can still praise God. It is a song of surrender. To choose to praise Him despite my hurts. I begin to understand how some people who are suffering(much worse than me) feel when they sing such songs. What a tribute to God. What an awesome encounter of God in worship.

Having said this, I am still feeling the after-effects of the disappointment. Life's like this isn't it? But with God, it is so much more bearable, and so much more to discover that disappointments are simply steps to greater joy. This is the 2nd 'major' disappointment in the space of 2 years for me. The first is foolishness and the second is a lack of trust in Him. I told Him, "I'm ready to go any time. What's meant to be will be." But alas, my talk is not consistent with my walk. I fret, I imagine & I plan - I wasn't truly ready to go because I have not surrendered my trust to Him. It took yesterday's answer to make me realise that.

But it is also in one of my most down moments that God speak so clearly. I have not got an answer for almost 2 years. But in the midst of this episode, I have it now. He said,"You have a calling. You are going." Yes Lord, I'm truly ready to go. Bring it on.

'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His word
Just to rest upon His promise
Just to know "Thus saith the Lord"

Chorus:
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus
O for grace to trust Him more

O how sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to trust His cleansing blood
Just in simple faith to plunge me
'Neath the healing cleansing flood

Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus
Just from sin and self to cease
Just from Jesus simply taking
Life and rest and joy and peace

I'm so glad I learned to trust Him
Precious Jesus, Saviour, Friend
And I know that He is with me
Will be with me to the end

Seek Me, seek not the answer.

Where are you going? What will you be doing? When are you going? Are you interested in anyone? These are familiar questions to me for the past 1 year and 9 months. The year and months do not seem very long but for a waiting person, it looks like it is going on forever. It has been a waiting journey and it is certainly tough when I'm faced with those questions again, not so much from others than myself.

Through this time of waiting, I thank God that I have learned many many things which I would not have the chance to learn had I not been back. It has been a worthwhile stretch of faith, not that it is ending anytime soon, but I have grown. But when I look at the present situation again, reality sets in. No definite answers, no definite directions. Am I losing my hearing? Am I losing my walk with God? Not at all. Am I then saying God is silent? Maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe I am just not hearing, maybe I am seeking God the wrong way. And indeed I was foolish when you look at my previous post. As I was asking God for an answer to a question, He seems to be saying, "Seek me, seek not the answer".

That was something to think about. If I seek Him with all my heart, I will find Him as Jeremiah 29:13 says. So then am I seeking God so that I will know Him more and love Him more or am I just seeking for an answer so that I can get out of my present situation? Is my focus right? There is a subtle deceitfulness of the heart in this seeking, isn't it? As I reflect upon my seeking of Him, I realise I need to seek Him as Lord, Savior and Friend. Not as some encyclopedia to provide me with answers; though He does give us answers for our lives and more than willing to do so than we thought He would. So if I seek Him with all my heart, I will find Him. And if I find Him, I will find the answers to all my questions.

O Lord, how great is your wisdom and your faithfulness! Though in my human weaknesses, I fret and imagine the worst, I know you will not fail me. If you have given your only son for me, what else will you withhold from me that which is good? No Lord, you will not let me go to the deeps of darkness without you nor will you leave me aimless and lost in a strange land. You will guide me, lead me and be my God forever. This journey will not be mine, but ours.

Father God, help me to seek you with all my heart. Give me just enough light for the next step ahead. Do not give me too much or I will go ahead of you. Do not give me too little or I might fall and blame you. Lord, guide me in what I should be doing, and if a certain relationship is meant to be. I will put my trust in You. I love you Lord. Thank you so much. Thank you for all that You are, all that You have given, and all the love you have showered upon me. I rest in You.
Love,
Your child

Seeking God? Drop all conditions, I mean ALL.

About 2 weeks ago, I was (still) seeking the Lord for directions when suddenly I realise something. I realise I had the same foolishness I had not too long ago with regards to seeking the will of God. A couple of years ago, I told God that I will go and serve anywhere except back in the corporate world. This time round, I told God I will go anywhere and no conditions, but there's a lingering plan in my heart.

The first time round, God chose not to say anything until I realise my foolishness and I told God that even if I had to go back to the corporate world, I will obey. Shortly after that point of surrender, my direction became clear and soon I was engaged in what God wants me to do. This time round, God chose not to say anything until I realise that I was as foolish as before and surrender to Him. The only difference is this time round, my condition wasn't exactly explicit, but it was a condition that has already garnered strength in my heart.

I told God I will do anything, go anywhere - I thought I had surrendered totally. But deep in my heart, I still had a lingering thought that I will just do something here for maybe a maximum of one year, preferably a few months, before going back to the field. So I prayed and asked but nothing seems to come out of my prayer. But as I was praying that day, God revealed to me my foolishness. It was a repeated 'mistake'. I had in fact a certain idea or plan on how things should work out and this to God is a form of condition; even though I had said I'll do anything and anywhere. God wants me to give Him my control of time as well, not just the kind of work and kind of place. In short, He wants my total surrender.

Thanks be to God for revealing the thoughts of my deceitful heart to me! I have learned of my foolishness once again and God has again show that He is faithful. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart"~Jer 29:13. It goes to show that we are very much at times like the obstinate Israelites in the bible - making the same mistakes after learning them. But God is gracious and always teaching us. I learned once again of my human foolishness and I thank God that the way ahead is starting to get clearer.

If you are seeking God, still yourself and spend some quiet time asking the Holy Spirit to search you first of all. And you'll be amazed or should I say shock when God reveals to you the reason why you are not hearing.

"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them ~ Matt 15:16

My Jesus, I Love Thee

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign.
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I love Thee because Thou has first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on Calvary’s tree.
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

I’ll love Thee in life, I will love Thee in death,
And praise Thee as long as Thou lendest me breath;
And say when the death dew lies cold on my brow,
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.

In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I’ll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I’ll sing with the glittering crown on my brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, ’tis now.
~ William R.Featherston

Is Jesus my delight?

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" I remember telling my Doulos friends this verse from Phil 4:4 as one of my favourite verses. Not too long ago, I was feeling great and full of joy and satisfaction in my journey but things seemed a little different now. Am I moody, down and sulking now? Not at all, and though I still laugh and enjoy my days, there is something amiss. It just feel different.

Last night's reflection had shown me the answer to this seemingly 'missing' joy. I had forgotten to delight myself in the Lord. Omigosh! Have I backslide? No, I have not. So what do I mean by that? I realise I had been focusing on how to live life that I have forgotten my basis for living. My present circumstances have not been great and I feel myself losing motivation for life. I know God is trying me and stretching my faith, and I have been seeking Him for an answer, for a direction to continue on to the next phase. But not hearing nor seeing anything happening all this while does to a certain extent affect my emotion and as time goes by, the uncertainty weighs heavier and heavier.

I told myself:"I will trust in the Lord!", or so I claimed. But there is this 'heaviness" and a 'certain' joy missing from my life. Mind you, I am still enjoying life - I laugh, I play, I give thanks, I appreciate, I enjoy things, I give, I receive and I am really blessed. BUT I realise there is something missing and I realise I had 'forgotten' my basis for living life. I claim to be lacking motivation in life, but if Jesus is the basis for living an abundant life, then how could I claim otherwise? If I have delighted in Jesus and understood that life is worth the living just because He lives, then how can it be possible that I lack motivation in life?

This is indeed basic understanding revisited. Now I can sing again:"And life is worth the living just because He lives". That is the basis for that 'missing' joy in my life - i.e. to live just because Jesus lives! Isn't that great? Isn't that good enough to give me motivation in life? That is the answer to finding joy in my present circumstances. Delighting in Jesus! Giving thanks and praying to Him sure help in lifting my heaviness but that is not yet delighting in Him. To delight in Him goes beyond our thanksgiving and speaking to Him(though it is part of it). It is to adore Him, to hold Him in such awe, to finally understand that having Him alone is good enough reason for rejoicing in life. That is the basis for my living. I need no other motivation nor could I claim I lack one.

O how I delight in You Lord! How can I not rejoice in life?

¡Feliz Cumpleaños!

"Dr.O gave his life to Jesus some months ago and was baptized recently!" my Brazilian friend shared the news with delight. Wow! I'm amazed, and I felt so happy. I'm so grateful that God had touched Dr.O and helped him believe in Jesus, even though his new status meant that many of his friends shunned him.

Thinking back, meeting Dr.O in East Timor has been such a 'divine appointment' from God. I was then having acute pain in my lower right abdomen and was advised to seek medical treatment in case it is appendicitis. My nurse friend contacted Dr.O and told J. and I to seek help from him. When we found him, he had just recovered from dengue fever but proceeded anyway to diagnose my case and gave me treatment and follow-up instructions(he did not even charge me for the medication!). I was very grateful for his kindness and arranged to treat him to a dinner at my place. When J. and I found out about his birthday, we decided to surprise him with a birthday cake.

He was really thrilled on that day as we sang him a birthday song and celebrate his birthday over dinner. We also had a short time of sharing and got to know Dr.O better - even though I had to get J. to translate his Spanish to Portuguese and to English for me to understand. Some time later, we got to know that he had never had such a birthday celebration before and that he was very touched by it.

Fast forward to today, Dr.O had given his life to Jesus and find real meaning and joy. He'll be leaving Timor soon and going back to his dear country. I never knew that that birthday celebration had meant so much to him and that it had brought forth a wonderful friendship between him and J. and finally led him to discover Jesus for himself. Birthday celebration is such a common affair to us that we have taken it for granted. But for another person like Dr.O, it had brought him closer to knowing Christ and it did finally. Ah, what a wonderful God we have. And what a wonderful new birthday for Dr.O in the Kingdom of God.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" and "Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven" - Gal 6:9, Matt 5:16

¡Feliz Cumpleaños! = Happy Birthday in Spanish

Another year is dawning

Here's an excellent poem on a new year with the Lord.

Another year is dawning;
dear Father, let it be,
In working or in waiting,
another year with thee.

Another year of progress,
another year of praise,
Another year of proving
Thy presence all the days.

Another year of service,
of witness for thy love;
Another year of training
for holier work above.

Another year is dawning;
dear Father, let it be,
On earth, or else in heaven,
another year for thee.

~ Francis Ridley Havergal

Inconvenience is a good thing

The great thing about being God's child is that you never stop learning(unless you arrogantly chose to), and sometimes even to re-learn something which you thought you already know. As creatures of comfort, we generally dislike being inconvenienced and we are always capable of coming up with seemingly valid excuses.

My friend had invited me for an event on a day where I had some time but because I prefer to go somewhere else, I politely decline with a vague excuse such as "I might not be free". Internally, I knew that I had time but would rather go somewhere else and hence, I felt that the excuse was justifiable. Sounds valid doesn't it? Of course it does and no one will see any problem with that - Except that this person who invited me is someone I am trying to reach out to.

Aha. That makes a world of difference, doesn't it? As I reflected on my instant decision, I realised how self-serving I was. The truth is that I would rather enjoy myself than to inconvenience myself to go for an event that I was not particularly interested in so that I could reach out to the person. I had intentions to invite this person for a Christmas service and wanted him to come. But what gives me the right to invite the person(and expect him to come) at all when I don't even want to accept his invitation in the first place? That was indeed very selfish. It's as if I'm telling the person, "Hey, come for for this event. Nevermind if you have never step into a church before and may feel awkward. Never mind the inconvenience of finding the place and having to use up your precious holiday time for this event. Nevermind if I didn't accept your invitation. This is more important. It will change your life. You got to come!" Sounds hypocritical, doesn't it?

It's a great lesson to be learn and I thank God for His exposure of my self-service. I've since accepted my friend's invitation and looking forward to building a stronger friendship which will enabled me to speak into his life as God directs me. Every moment is an opportunity. If you expect your friends to inconvenience themselves to come for your church's service and to listen to some "speech", then you better be ready to inconvenience yourself and respond to your friend first.

After all, Jesus did more than just inconvenience Himself to save us. Our inconvenience is nothing really. So don't let your own comfort deprive someone of hearing Christ. Make the right inconvenient choice today.

Get In Touch!!!

I don't know if you have or realize this pattern but I certainly do. The pattern goes like this - it is almost Good Friday, Easter or Christmas time and you picked up your phone to give your non-believing friend an sms or a call. "Hi, how are you? Would you like to come to my church this Sunday......" The reason: It is an evangelistic service and you would like to get your friends to come down and hear the gospel and prayerfully they respond.

While there is nothing wrong with inviting your friends, have you notice that you only sms or call them because it is an evangelistic event? On other normal days, you hardly sms or call them. So what am I trying to say? I am trying to say that we must make an effort to build up our friendship with non-believing friends. We should not only remember them when an evangelistic event draws near but treat them as we should have treated our cell group members. An occasional call, sms and meet-up IS necessary to keep in touch and to be an effective witness for Christ.

Everyone wants friends that genuinely cherish friendships. This sincerity is shown by your effort in maintaining contact and being real to them. Popping by last minute to invite friends you have not met for some time is akin to calling up your long-time friends with the intention of selling them insurance policies. I am not saying that we should not invite friends we have not met for a long time but ideally, we should have make an effort to keep in touch with them much earlier even before any evangelistic events. Because logically speaking, if my friend(who have not kept in touch with me for a long time) were to suddenly call me up and invite me to church, I would imagine him to be similar to some dude trying to sell me MLM products.

I hope you're getting what I mean. While shortcuts are possible, it can easily back-fire and put your friends off. I realized this recently and I am making an effort to meet my non-believer friends for dinner or other activities. They are not just worth inviting for evangelistic events, but worth spending my time with. Jesus died for them so that they can be saved, will you not spend some time with them to make Jesus's death worthwhile? Let's not be caught up in our own little 'christian world' where we spend 365 days with christians only.

Get out and get in touch today!!!

Your small acts of kindness matters

It has been a while since I last stopped to talk to a new tissue aunty. I occasionally talk to this aunty that I've mention in my blog last year but I haven't really stop to talk to other tissue sellers in recent times. Apathy and rushing for appointments are 2 main excuses I use to squirm my way out of blessing these people which many of us come across. What a shame, isn't it?

So there I was on my way back that I met this new tissue aunty on a wheelchair. Business must have been tough because she was so grateful when I bought her tissue. So as I converse with her, she spoke about why she is selling tissue. "I stay alone and I have to earn some money to buy "pampers" when there is not enough. No choice. Otherwise I will soil myself" said the auntie. That must have been a tough statement to say - imagine telling a stranger that you are in a health condition where you can't control your bowels, and you had to stay alone AND earn money yourself.

I decided to help out a little and pass her some money discreetly. "This is for you aunty. You can use it to buy food or to buy drinks or to use it in whatever ways you want..." I tried my best to water down the money giving act so that she will not feel she is some kind of beggar. (Not further damaging the dignity of a poor person is something that we must be highly sensitive of)

When she received the money, she started tearing and thanking me. I was shocked(by the fact that this little act had meant so much to her) I then told her that Jesus loves her and I was glad to find out that she believes in Jesus too. I will never forget those tears of joy and gratefulness on her face. Perhaps she thought everyone had forgotten about her, but God did not. Perhaps it was an answer to her prayer for provision from God. Perhaps it was an affirmation of God's promise that He will take care of her. Nevertheless, God met her that day. I was just a passer-by that God used.

There are just too many broken hearts out in the world today. If only we will slow down, pause, and listen to them. To talk to them and share with them. Our life can make so much a difference to another person's life more than we think it can. Our small acts of kindness matters. To them, and to Jesus.

"For i was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply,' I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least brothers of mine, you did for me.'" Matthew 25:35-40

Festival of Light

Today I celebrated Deepavali, a major Indian festival significant in Hinduism , Jainism and Sikhism. It is popularly known as the "Festival of Light," where the lights or lamps signify the uplighting of darkness and victory of good over the evil within. Sounds familiar? Yes, similarities of the gospel where the great Light has come to the world and triumph over death and darkness.

Though I didn't get the chance to use this analogy to share with my Indian friends, I had a great time fellowshipping with them and got to pray for them when I was invited to say grace for the food. It really is a slow process but it is a good stepping stone to building deeper relationship and to shine as light before them.

Christmas is coming up and I'm praying for more of them to join me this time and may God opened their hearts even more. With globalization, the missions field is really not too far away from where we stay. Take a trip down to Little India, Golden Mile complex and Peninsula Plaza and you will see many Indians, Thais and Burmese. And there are many other nationalities in your workplace and neighbourhood too. So let us all take a good look at the field and realise this soon. The world is waiting to hear from us.

"Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest." John 4:35

Everything in His time

The end chorus of Corinne May's song, Everything in its time, goes like this - "...I promise you, the answer will come. Hold on to patience and watch for the sign. Everything in its time...".

I think patience(waiting) is one of the toughest thing to learn in our world today. We want instant answers, quick solutions and equate patience as being laid back. You feel there are eyes looking at you and 'questioning' your wait - most the time, these are really our own imagination and prideful fear.

Waiting is really 'hard work' because you have to find something meaningful to do while waiting and sometimes you wonder if what you're doing is purposeful or not. This calls for a tough mental workout because the battle is in the mind. You'll be tempted to flirt with rash decisions, go with your emotions and make choices with poor reasons. If we don't get the Word of God into our hearts and minds, we are finished in this world. Our decisions will always pain us.

The song aptly sang the things we ought to do while waiting, i.e. to hold on to patience and watch for the sign. If we truly believe that God is in control and that He has the best interest for us, then we can do that. We can then brush aside what we're feeling right now and not make a decision based on it. We can say no to taking certain actions because we know for sure that God had not spoken - there was no 'sign' from Him.

I think what I've experienced recently made me understand what I've just said a little more. When I saw how God is beginning to open doors to East Timor again, I realised why I had to wait and how my wait has benefited me so richly. I had gained a wealth of knowledge and experience from those who are more experienced in community work and in church planting. My learning fitted perfectly into the new work which I am about to embarked on.

I also waited for another event which I can now thank God for enabling me to wait. It was in a way supernatural. After making my decision, God later on revealed the reasons in a most obvious manner. It was awesome. "...hold on to patience and watch for the sign. Everything in its time...." Hold on my friend. The time will come.

Everything in its time

Everything in its time - Corrinne May
Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Are you losing Jesus's compassion?

On one morning devotion, my friend in bible school shared on Luke 7:12-15 about the compassion of Jesus - how Jesus had compassion on the widow and raised her dead son to life. So often we approached praying for healings and miracles with bravado and thoughts of "will i fail or succeed?", and forgot that compassion should be the factor that drives us to pray for miracles. It was a timely reminder for me. Am I losing my compassion for the lost? Am I connected to Jesus's compassion for those who are hurting in this world? I think I have left His compassion somewhere. It is a wake up call.

As I watched the video about the plight of prostitutes in Cambodia, how young girls were sold or tricked into the sex trade, at one point i couldn't help but wept. I felt so overwhelmed when hearing their stories about their past, their rescue and their present hope. These are the 'lucky' ones that have been rescued. But there are many more out on the streets who do not have this hope. They are living in darkness everyday and they are captives to this trade. Isaiah 61:1-2 rang out loud - "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour." Who will go? Who will rescue them? Who will set them free? Who will bind their broken hearts?

...what can I do? I could only cry out to the Lord. "Father God, save them. Let all who have heard you respond to your call to rescue these helpless children of yours. Yes Lord, your precious children who are created in your own image with value, with dignity, with a purpose and a destiny in their lives. May You rescue them O Lord."

Timor Assurance

It was a good trip down to Timor. God has blessed me so much. First of all, He provided for my financial needs in going there. And secondly, I've had some unexpected divine appointments with certain friends and people there. There was nothing 'great' that happened. I got to see some of friends, visit some places and find out more about possible work there. The most memorable thing I took back is God's reminder of His call for me to serve Him there.

After one and a half year out of Timor, I began to wonder if God is telling me something else - i.e. Timor is not the place. Although I was quite certain that God had called me to serve Him there in end 2005, I have this lingering doubt if God is telling or showing me something else now. I am human after all, and being out of Timor for one and half year did smother some of my passion for her. Is God done with me in Timor? I was ready to surrender if God says my work in Timor is over and that He will placed me somewhere else to serve His purpose. But God is not fnished with me in Timor.

On the day I was supposed to leave, I got an unexpected divine appointment and attended a prayer meeting. My initial plan was actually to do some last minute walking and 'shopping' around town but somehow, I ended up in that prayer meeting that morning. As I was worshipping God in a song in Tetun, God touched my heart - He 'told' me that His glory will fill Timor, and that He is not done with me there. I couldn't help bursting out in tears. God is so good. He is always on time. And He knows exactly what I needed at this point of my life - His assurance. Praise God! Praise His Holy Name!!! Forever and ever more. Amen.

Time waits for no man

I was assigned for hospital visits that week and I got to meet Mr See. Although it was my first time meeting him, my nerves settle down very quickly and I began to enjoy my conversation with him. We spent much time talking about quite a number of things and strange enough, he left a deep impression in me. Perhaps it was the strength he displayed or the joy that shone through despite his failing health. I made up my mind to visit him again next week although I was not on duty.

But the second visit did not materialise. Perhaps I was too busy, perhaps I was too 'lazy'. Perhaps I felt the inconvenience or perhaps I thought there was still time. The days passed quickly and I did not see him that Friday. "Thanks for visiting my dad", her daughter beamed. It was Sunday morning. Mr See had been discharged but unfortunately, he had shingles and so he was not able to attend church service in case the contagious disease spread. I was glad for him and I thought to myself, "Hopefully I'll get to see him in next week's service".

Monday morning. The news came that Mr See had passed away. He had been taken home to meet His Maker; a home that was prepared for him and for us that believed in Jesus. A place where there is no more sorrow, no more tears, no more pain, no more sickness, no more conflicts, no more misunderstandings - a perfect home for a perfect body and mind. There will be singing, and dancing, and celebrations, and joy, and worship of God for Mr See. A loss on earth for us but a gain for him in heaven.

Time is not something we can buy. When it's gone, it's gone. I wish I have spoken to dear Mr See twice but it was not to be. Too many excuses I supposed. Our time on earth is really that short, but even an one-time encounter can make a difference and change things. Time really waits for no man. Seize the opportunity today. And let your light shine.

"When I think of him, he still impressed upon me what joy can do to the person who has it, and to the person who sees it" ~ Jason Lee.

A loving, radical and balanced Christian & Church - Conclusion

Please read Part 1 to Part 3 before this post to my thoughts on a loving, radical and balanced Christian & Church.

Here's the conclusion and it's a writing on the Church, i.e. the followers of Christ.

The Church, the body of Christ
We are distinct yet inseparable
We are different yet united
We are unrelated yet one family
We have different gifts but the same work
We have different ministries but the same mission
We have different stories but the same God
The same God who loves us all
The same love that binds us all
The same bond that show us all
That all may know we are His disciples
That all may know His loving kindness
That all may know His name
To God be the glory
                                ~ Jason Lee